Why would anyone forgive infidelity?

[RustyShackleford]

I feel compelled to weigh in here (moderator, please bear with me... I know that this is not the forum for a religious discussion... but I'm going somewhere with this).

I agree with everything puppydogtails said, with just one exception: Our Catholic church does not recognize civil divorce, without regard to adultery. Note the words of Jesus in Matthew 19:9, part of which are unique to the New American Bible (Catholic version):

I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.

All bibles refer to "adultery" or "immorality," yet the NAB states that divorce is permitted only of the marriage was not "lawful."

And adultery is not grounds for an annulment. So as a Catholic, if my wife were to proceed with and obtain a divorce from me, I would not be permitted to marry again (we are not eligible for annulment...I checked).

OK, enough of that, as that is not the reason for my post. I am the victim of a cheating spouse (and a one-time frequent poster on these boards under a different name). I found strength in reminding myself that, unless I forgave my wife, I would not receive forgiveness from God for any of my sins.

From Sirach 27:30 - 28:5
Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.

The vengeful will suffer the LORD'S vengeance, for he remembers their sins in detail.

Forgive your neighbor's injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.

Should a man nourish anger against his fellows and expect healing from the LORD?

Should a man refuse mercy to his fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?

If he who is but flesh cherishes wrath, who will forgive his sins?


Also, note Matthew 18:21 - 35


Then Peter approaching asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.

That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants.

When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.

Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.

At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.'

Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.

When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.'

Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt.

Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair.

His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.

Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?'

Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.

So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart."

The bottom line: Forgiveness is not an option.