What we each did wrong that hurt our marriage

[mishka422]

I have absolutely loved reading this thread. Thank you Gigi for starting it.

I have been examining my failures in my M over the last several months and I can see that I took my M and H for granted. I didn't have my priorities quite right and didn't spend enough time cultivating our R. After 19 years together and 15 M'd we had fallen into patterns that neither of us had communication skills enough to correct.

Like you said, we never fought. I saw it as a strength instead of what it was - neither of us communicated our real needs or desires so we never disagreed on anything. He felt like I paid too much attention to my work and household duties and not enough to him. Of course, I felt the same way about him. We never talked about that though and he found someone else to talk to about it. Now he lives with her.

Regarding the current culture of the Christian church in America, I agree that too many churches put an emphasis on the "show" instead of the "message". Mine is not one of those. I searched for a long time for the right fit for me and I have found a wonderful church home where I am surrounded by loving, caring, fully engaged followers of Christ. I am so blessed by these people and am thankful to God every day for leading me to them.