I totally understand your feelings about missing your W. I too have the same feelings almost everyday. I too have been beating myself up for doing the things I did to bring my M to this point. Being patience and waiting for the next shoe to drop has been one of the hardest things I have done. On top of that my C told me that I truly need to stay away from any type of manipulation or controlling ways. To try and not wonder about how my W is thinking or doing about our R. These two things along with the waiting have put a lot more weight on my shoulders.
I keep telling myself, this is what I have to do to get a chance to improve my R/M. It is very hard, but at least I feel that I am doing something productive.
