Quote:
What would happen if you rang her up ?

I'd be subject to arrest, and could be taken to jail.

Look, she alleged that I was an immediate danger to her person. That she was afraid I would physically attack her. The law is in place to protect women who have been abused.

MC said, Max, I think the term "No contact" was not meant as a legal term. In discussions on this forum, "No Contact" means what you said, but in my case, I am using it as a euphemism for "Protection Order".

Quote:
I was watching SVU the other night and they had a case where there was no contact but it ran out after a year and the judge said that they were easy to obtain and often wife is granted them without to many questions being asked. Not so easy if you want extention.

absolutely true. The judge (who was not actually a judge, but that is another story) said "she is obviously afraid of you... I'm going to grant the petition." All the woman has to do is show fear.

And she did! Who wouldn't be afraid. You're in court, making these allegations, they're pretty serious. Whether true or not, the accuser is going to be afraid. So there ya go.

We are well past the point where I can be proactive in contacting her. She's made her wishes very clear.

Quote:
H will do whatever he wants at the end of the day, especially if I consider the pain and hurt he is in.

Yes, it's hard for the betrayed spouse. Of course, I also think a person in that situation can fall in love with being a victim, can become cemented in place. For a while, it's ok to be sad and mourn the loss of trust, but at some point you gotta move on. You have to put it behind you and get going. It's hard for your husband but at some point it would be nice if he would show some inner strength, too. What you are hoping for I think, is that he can put this behind him and get going toward you.

Quote:
I really mean it , when i say it would be easier to do what your wife is doing. I think that not only does she need to stand on her own 2 feet but she has to face what she has done.

Yes, and I agree with you. She wants independence and I would like her to have it. I think it would be good for her and good for me and good for the kids, too. As for "facing what she has done", I don't know that we can say "she must face it." She can choose not to face it. She can run from responsibility. She is running now, and she can continue to do it. I wish she wouldn't, but she can.

The thing is, I want equity, and so far that is not happening. She is currently legally entitled to more money than I make, every month. She has no rent payment, and she gets to bar me from seeing the kids. This is not equitable. This is all possible with the women's protection laws in the states, thank goodness for Joe Biden, our future VP, who sponsored them.

Once a woman gets a judge to agree that she deserves protection, the man loses everything.

I am hoping to get some equity in the near future. If that does not happen I will have to walk away. Who wants to work for no money, and no right to see his kids? What man would accept that deal? It's slavery. I won't accept this, long term. The first judge was an idiot. If the next one re-inforces those terms, I will be the one walking away. She will then have complete independence from me.