2)To PuppyDogTails: I assume from your post that your're a Christian. If not, I apologize. If you are, isn't it true that no less an authority than Jesus himself said divorce was permitted for marital unfaithfulness?
TnGuy,
Yes, I am a Christian. It was my strong faith in God that helpled me get thru my ordeal last summer.
To answer your question, yes, Jesus Himself and even my conservative Catholic Church says that it's permissable to divorce on the grounds of adultery. So if that's what you want to do, you're perfectly free to do so, with no condemnation from me, nor from God as I understand Him.
However, I believe your original post was more about "how can one FORGIVE???" than it was "Is it permissable to divorce?" And on THAT subject, that same Authority commanded us to do so.
"Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do" is what He said as he hung, crucified and dying, on the cross. I figure if He can forgive THAT, I can forgive my wife for a far lesser transgression.
My wife did ask me -- twice -- once during her affair, and once when she ended it: "Why ARE you still here? Why are you fighting for me, after what I've done?" I told her the following reasons:
1. I took my vow before God very seriously on our wedding day, and that it was "for better or for worse," not "for better or even better still."
2. That I still loved her.
3. That I wanted to demonstrate for our children what you do when faced with adversity -- you don't just cut and run.
4. That I personally wanted to know that I did everything I could to save my marriage and keep our family intact, and that I didn't want to go to my death bed someday with horrible regrets.
5. That I would hope if the situation were reversed -- and say I had a drug or an alcohol or a gambling addiction -- that she would do the same thing and forgive me, and fight for me until I got my mind right and was free of my addiction.
It really helped me to think of infidelity as an addiciton, which I firmly believe it is. It's a physiological fact, that even shows up on CAT scans of the brain -- the "love" chemicals that awash the wayward mind. Just Google "PEA infidelity addiction" and do the research. It's the same pernicious pull that led an otherwise sane, intelligent woman astronaut to drive across country WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER, rather than stop for bathroom breaks, to go see her man and avenge him with his other woman.
