I have found the less I think, or try to think, sometimes the better it is!!
I agree! Being busy with something else often helps.
Last night was pretty calm. I got home from work first and H called me to see what I thought about dinner. I prepped stuff for burgers and he cooked them when he got home. Small talk at dinner, he wanted us to go test drive a new truck but decided we wouldn't have time. Seemed to be depressed about the condition of his current truck and thinking we couldn't afford a new one. Said several times "this is my life." Hmmmm. I remained positive and said that we should check it out and we would not know until we go look. There are some good deals out there now.
I'm not sure we can afford it either, but was not going to be the one to shoot down his balloon. He was saying "we" so that was a good thing anyway.
He was tired and fell asleep early on the couch. I woke him up to go to bed with me at 10. He woke up at his usual 2 am and said he was going to go down and turn on the tv. I tried to wake him when the alarm went off to get in the HT, but he would not get up. I set a timer for him and took my coffee and went without him. He was still sleeping when I came back in. He had turned off the time and was still sleeping soundly. When I finally got him awake he was worried about being late. He hit the shower and I started to make his lunch. I had it all ready when he came out to get dressed and he was surprised. He gave me a kiss and said thank you.
We each continued to get ready and he asked me a question, and I answered. I turned to look at him and (tho I knew I shouldn't) I asked if he love me. He said yes. I am trying. I looked at him and he came over and gave me another kis. He said (something like) you make it hard for me... When he was saying it I thought he meant that I made it hard for nim not to love me, but then I started second guessing myself and maybe he meant I sometimes make it hard for him to love me. I didn't ask and I guess I will leave that moment alone. Whichever way he said it there was a bit of tenderness there, so like Billy Joel says I will leave a tender moment alone.
He has already called me once this morning to ask me a question about our snowplowing business. This is day 4 of me not initiating any calls to him.
I am going with a gf tonight to attend a bc function. We are both survivors and looking forward to hearing this speaker. I mentioned it to H last night and he said that I should go, but he seemed not overly enthuastic for me to be gone from him. Who knows. I didn't say it but it will give him a chance to head down to the pub. Guess we will see.
I am still struggling, wondering who the woman the 12 cell phone calls were to last month. Trying not to think about it.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
