I had no idea that my rebound was only a learning experience. I thought it was my way out of the pain I was feeling. I ended up emotionally attached and once it was over, left to deal with the original issues from my divorce plus, new issues from the rebound relationship.
Cathy... I dont think any of us could possibly be healthy enough to realize that we are in a learning experience while rebounding. I know I couldnt have known that. I was way to hurt and in denial of the depth of hurt I was still in.
Yet, somehow, good came of it all. I have no idea what the best pathway was for me. At times, I am grateful for my drug and alcohol problems (past) as they made it all the more essential that I seek out significant help in dealing with my life and thinking problems.
We alcoholic/addicts in a way have a positive in our world.... there is a requirement for us to get better or die. Staying sick is not an option if we have any desire to live. Most of us do not live long if we do not sober up and cannot sober up (and remain sober) if we do not learn true recovery of mind and behaviour. It is almost a gift in disguise if it hadnt been so dangerous and hurtful to those around us.
For me, I have stopped trying to figure out what the best path should have been. I have learned to just accept that whatever has happened has happened. I can only control the moment and to a very small degree, the future.
The rebound flings.... as bizarre and costly as they were... taught me things I have no idea how I would have learned otherwise.
All I can really say is that I feel that value can be taken from all things. This leaves me with far less regret and far greater happiness in the moment.
