Seeing x for who he is. And as I have said so many times who he is has had no "shock" factor. I am surprised that he has avoided being alone - adn that people continually rally around him. BUT all in all I am not surprised.
I went through about a weeks time where i woke up in hte night many times with xh, my son and my daughter on my mind. Same time every night....i did as i know to do..I prayed for tehm all. Something must be going on in the "spiritual" relm or I don't believe I would ahve been awoken.
I believe that this stupid MLC is real..and I believe it is Satans play ground.
I also beleive that God does want our marriages reconciled. I have no doubt on that... specially after a few things that have happened this week. BUT more than that I also believe that my dreams have to be NOT FOCUSED on my xh..but on Him. And I als believe that we shoudl not fixate on them -- that is part of getting a life...and I am trying.
I have read on these boards that sometimes we are still in love with our x's but we are able to put our love on a shelf while they go through what they ahve to go through. I believe that is where I am. Man oh man does that make teh journey easier. HOWEVER --- the spin cycle for my brain and my heart are always close by.
Thanks for listening..sorry to ramble.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
