You are an amazing woman! Do not think for one second that you were the cause of your divorce. A real man would appreciate the love and focus that you were providing to his children.
My bet is that you were a very loving and attentive wife, you are just searching for reasons as to why your marriage ended. Do not do it! It is unfortunate that some of us who were truly committed to our families just happened to marry people that did not share our core values. It is very common today.
One person finds joy in raising a family and watching his children flourish, the other is completely self absorbed. You will never understand or relate to the Walk Away Spouse, so do not waste your time. But... we all do it.
Personally, I believe you should have recovered after 5 years. My recommendation is for you to get a new counselor who can help you move on with your life. You are hoping to change the past which is impossible. It is time for you to look to the future.
Get a new counselor and start doing some things for yourself. You get an "A" for being a mom, I am sure that you can figure out how to get an "A" as a single woman who is committed to starting a new life. Do it for your kids! Make them proud of you!
You can do it!!!
Fish
Fish, with all due respect, you have been on this board less than 2 months, how in the hell could you say that someone should be recovered in 5 years? I know people who have been divorced 20 years and STILL haven't recovered, and probably never will! I know another man who has been separated for over 5 years and is still stuck in limbo, not ready to move on, and probably never will. Different things effect everyone differently. There is no timetable to when someone should get over something. I do agree with what you said about changing the past, it can't be done, but that is also easier said than done. My advice to you is to take one day at a time, set several short range goals, get out to where you can meet some people, doesn't necessarily have to be a date, but I think that would do more for your self-esteem and confidence than anything. Take up a new hobby, try something new and interesting. Broaden you horizons, even if you don't feel like it. Remember this, when you try new things, you open new doors, maybe one of these new doors is the one you need to go through to pull yourself out of this! What do you have to lose???
