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[ACJ]

Tonight frustration with a capital F rules the roost in my head

D13 is so angry with her life and all that is in it. She argues for the sake of it and b/c she can. All I have to do is to ask her if she wants a drink and she just snaps back 'leave me alone, get off my back, I want nothing to do with you'. I totally understand that she is hormonal, is a teenager trying to figure out who she is and that we always hurt those we are closet to b/c it is the safest BUT I want some respite from it all.

I tried to sit down and talk to her about her attitude and tried to explain to her that it's becoming a way of life and that if she isn't careful she will end up being bitter for the rest of her life. At the moment her only excuse is that she is the way she is b/c she grew up listening to H and I arguing all the time. Until tonight that sent me on a guilt trip but I wasn't going there tonight. I tried to use it to show her that she needs to change.

I grew up with an angry mother. I learned to argue from her. My dad rarely argued back (which annoyed the hell out of her) and to this day he idolises the very ground she walks on. My children in thier turn have all learned to argue from me. I wasn't fortunate to have such a forgiving H as my mother and so b/c I carried on using learnt behaviours I lost my H to and OW. I too am desperately trying not to become bitter and twisted. I think in the main I am getting there and I don't have to tell any of you how hard that has been. So i tried a bit of reverse psychology on D13 and pointed out to her that if she wasn't careful, if she didn't try to change she too might very well end up just like me simply b/c of learnt behaviours. I figured that none of us wants to be like our parents (no matter how much we love them). On the face of it I didn't get through to her but it may take some time to find out if deep down I touched a nerve. I sure hope I did. I'm not sure i can stand another 5 years of this until she goes to uni

She even admitted that the reason she has been so horrible in the last 24hrs is b/c she spent time with H last night. I know all they did was watch a film b/c when she came home I asked if she had had a nice time and she told me that this is what they did (using the exact words I have put above). This happens every time she sees H which makes it even more frustrating.

Why can't these WAS/MLCers see the devastation they leave behind them. What changes in them to make them so irresponsible? D or not none of this is likely to change in the near future, if ever. Do any of us ever feel whole again?