Hi SPM - hope you read above post to H4U as it was response to you as well.
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I wish he were stronger. I wish he would choose marriage and reconciliation.
I wish he knew about this site. I feel men don't talk to each other enough about things like this. He probably feels alone. I may be looking at a whole different life right know if he had the support and advice this site offers.
Your changing the paragraph thing was SOOOOO good. Reality check definitely.
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I still think the best thing is for you to back off. Find compassion for him in your heart and back off. Get a life. And as you make yourself happy, you must avoid blaming him for your current straits.
I hear you about backing off , and i know that means getting out there and doing me stuff. I feel I am inching towards it.
Where I struggle is, I cant get a life with so much contact with H. Since discovering this site I have stopped calling , crying at him, texting and questioning him. But we still talk daily and several times. We have so much stuff going on right now.
I see in him the ability to function just as a partner. He has got a life and each time he takes up something new I feel more and more distance from him. I am scared to do that, as distance is not what i want.
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but it is not goodwill that writes those words.
Last night i felt no goodwill. Last night i saw H as becoming a selfish SOB.
How do I show more compassion, more responsibility? You answer as possibly dawned on me - GIVE HIM SPACE AND TIME.
