Where there are shadows, let me bring light

[grant]

Hi Lola,
I'm sorry I haven't posted for a while, but I've been following your sitch. I'm sad to hear that you're going through a rough patch just now. It's certainly the hardest thing we'll ever go through, next to the the situation that poor Jeninven found herself in.

But you are so strong, so positive and truly great person. It must be very hard to keep going when you get these setbacks, but as you rightly say, you do not want a divorce.
I believe that one day, your H WILL realise what he has been missing. Heck, he probably knows now. But having you around helping him has probably triggered feelings of deep guilt, doesn't want to cause you further pain when he feels at this time unable to reciprocate and is thinking that his only escape route is by initiating the D conversation.

I know that it's inherent in your nature to be gracious, helpful and giving, particularly where your H is concerned, and perhaps that feeling of longing and deep love precludes you from really detaching.

I actually really hate that word!!
Who knows what it means eh? But I have heard that sometimes it's only when we really really let go the rope that change can be allowed to occur.
Limboland is purgatory, no matter how strong, determined, or patient we are.
We are only human, and the hardest thing truly is to try to let go of that which we most desire.

I feel your pain.

But dust yourself off, and keep on doing what you do best.
You are an inspiration and a source of great comfort to others here, myself included.

I wish I could say something more positive to you, I really do. But I guess it is what is is right now.

Take care, thinking of you.

Grant