Well my C said to keep communication open and talk about our concerns rather then let them boil to a point of busting.
Don't fall back to back habbits.
Maybe I should not have said our problem is SEX. I know there is more to it then that. All I hear is "I don't know why" or a couple of times I get " I want to re-connect"
it's been a year of re-connecting... I honestly beleive it has to do with a couple of things. One she was abused by a family member when very young and her mother programed that sex and touch is bad period. While this does not explain the period of time when things where good before our M.
She still has this thing about going to see a C herself on her own. She feels its not needed, while I feel it is. As mentioned in the DB book, we can't force someone into C if they are unwilling>
While she feels our M is getting back on track and things a moving along, I feel we have hit a wall. I don't want to go back to last years events.
Regarding the A, yes we both where unhappy. She left and I was alone. I turned to somone to help me deal with it in the wrong way.
I just long for the touch and love from my W. While I get told 3,4 or 5 times a day she loves me and we kiss and sit on the couch and watch TV close. It does not fill the large void of sexual excitement ! the spark, the I want u, desire your touch.
I love a woman who takes control of the situation sometimes. I would just love to be jumped from time to time. Or come home to be surprised by my W in something sexy. Or have her sneak into the shower with me .. you get the picture. I just don't want wam bang thank you mam. Which is why the OW appealed to me. Nothing like have a woman jump you with out warning.
Last year I learned alot about myself and what I want in my M and life. Sex aside I consider myself a strong person. I know what makes me happy and what hobbies and stuff I enjoy. I no longer want to play games. As someone mentioned in there post, I did not sign up to be a preist (she said nun)
sorry for the long posts and maybe to much detail
W: 28 Me: 27 No kids Bomb: 12/27/06 ILUBNILWU Sep: 2/16/07 Came home: 08/30/07
