Working on my W's MLC - the saga continues III

[missmyfriend]

I can relate to your dilemma more than you know. I have a D that turned 16 a couple of months ago. My W left before she left, that is she was busy working on her Masters in Counseling for nearly two years prior to leaving the family.

The last time our D had her mom full-time was three years ago. When my W left, she quit being a mom. This was hard on the kids because she was one of the best mom's I have ever known. My mom is a great mom and I had friends with great mothers but my W was impressive.

Our D looked up to her and for good reason. Now, she is alone in a house of men. I have two sons and she frequently jokes a male dog, a male cat and a male lizard. Even her favorite aunt (my Ws sister) has not stayed in touch with her.

I am impressed with the strength my D shows. She is still hopeful about Rs, she is loyal to her mom and me, she loves God and is a good friend to others. I do wish she was better at cleaning her room, taking care of the dog (the dog is hers) and doing her chores but she is a precious child.

At the same time, she gets depressed easily. Her mom lives very close to her but spends such little time with her. I could give you countless examples of stories where my W missed out on excellent opportunities to spend quality time with our D. Instead my W has made damaging comments to our D and behind our Ds back to our sons, only for our D to get an update by her brothers.

My point is, there is nothing you can do about what your W does or doesn't do. It hurts us to see our children miss out on a parent they love so much. Instead, it forces us to become a single parent of sorts to deal with all of the issues our children face. The one thing that will help you with all situations is to deal with your D with love. If she upsets you, correct her but do it with love. If she does something positive, take notice and do it with love.

She needs more attention, whether it be for praise or for correction, than ever before but make sure that love is always present.