Hi folks, my old thread seemed to not fit the circumstances so well, so I started a new one.
A short recap is in order. I talked with the wife last Thursday and she confirmed that in her mind, she had told me in no uncertain terms that we were getting divorced, but that I had asked her to wait to file and at that point, she became intimate with her two OM. I think her timing is off considerably, but, it wasn't worth arguing about. The reality of a pending divorce triggered a cascade of emotions and I went out and drank to much and swore off drinking out at the bar, at least for a while.
Friday, we spoke again, and I asked if she was sure that we couldn't fix things. We left that as that we would try and build the friendship that we never had and would file the divorce petition at the end of the month. Additionally, we talked about shared parenting time where each parent would be in the family home for a week and then switch off with the other one. Friday, I closed out the day with some hope.
Saturday, seemed like the way things have been for the last few months and Sunday was a repeat of that, though in talking to her on Sunday afternoon, she told me that she was going over to OM2's house to get her plants and give him back his cell phone. I presume that is shorthand for breaking things off with him. As a friend, I wished her success and told her if she needed to talk, to call me.
Since Monday, things have been significantly harder than I thought they would be. It was much easier to move on when she was a lying cheating who.. After out talks, we connected again in a way that we haven't in a long time and she moved out of the impersonal enemy category and back into the person category and it's really tough to try and be friends with and friendly to her while she is involved with OM1. Heck, they are going to Vegas over Halloween weekend.
I'm trying to move on myself except that while a part of me wants to move on, another part of me still wants this to not be happening and to at the very least put her back into the impersonal enemy category so that I don't care what she's doing.
SIGH
It's all so very confusing. Maybe it wouldn't be so damned difficult if I wasn't with the kids all the time, but, I don't feel comfortable having people over to the house. So, I work all day and take care of the kids and then veg out on the computer until far to late, then sleep, wash rinse repeat.
Today, I asked if she was looking for another job since she works nights and our shared parenting time plan is impossible while she is working nights, and she gave me all kinds of excuses from that she is just glad to have a job in this financial climate to that she doesn't have a computer to find a job to the fact that originally her sabbatical was supposed to be until the end of the year and when I was out in Colorado for a new job, she was in Michigan with no friends and never went out etc. I told her that things were significantly different now and thought later that I wish I had told her that when she is willing to live the way I did when we were apart, then I'm willing to live the way that she did. Of course, I've always been the one earning the majority of the income, she was busy, but, didn't have a full-time job and her mother was there to help with things. So, there really is no comparison between what she lived then and what I live now. It doesn't matter.
Then on top of that, I still have major job instability and no word yet on the new job.
Am I done whining yet?
I think so.
I've decided what to be for Halloween My criteria were simple. I could not make me look ridiculous and it needed to have a long cape. I was planning on going with a long hooded robe and a mask, but, then someone pointed out the vampires are still cool and that sealed things. I'm going as a punker styled gothic vampire. This meets both criteria, the vest and ruffled shirt or cravat and the black dress pants looks cool and the cape is available to engulf pretty women
I didn't want anyone to think that I'm sitting around all depressed or something. :p
My criteria were simple. I could not make me look ridiculous and it needed to have a long cape. I was planning on going with a long hooded robe and a mask, but, then someone pointed out the vampires are still cool and that sealed things. I'm going as a punker styled gothic vampire. This meets both criteria, the vest and ruffled shirt or cravat and the black dress pants looks cool and the cape is available to engulf pretty women 