What else can I do?

[Bagheera]

Greetings PR,

I'll offer up a few suggested based upon your post, and hopefully we can help more as you correspond with us and share more information.

(1) Let the magazine 'contest' go.

In the overall context of things, it's pretty small potatoes, and your relatiionship is far more important than a free trip somewhere. Such things, like their idea to make love for seven nights straight, are best left for the WOMAN in the relationship to initiate, anyway: they tend to be much more sensitive to context, setting, mood, your overall connection level and so forth.

(2) Consider it a BLESSING that your wife is talking to you about sex, and act on what she says.

You can't fix what you don't know is broken, so take what she's saying seriously and work to improve things with her. If you get too upset of feel 'crushed' over what she's saying, she's likely to shut up and keep it to herself -- then where would you be? In DanceQueen's latest thread, you'll find an entire discussion about men's reluctance to talk about emotional issues in general, and about their inability to handle sexual criticism in particular. If you're going to make your sex life better, you're going to have to learn how to talk about it, and take some criticism too. No one is a perfect lover, and old lovers do tend to get into ruts and 'predictable' patterns.

(3) Look for ways to improve your sexual relationship *outside of the bedroom.*

And no, I'm not being contradictory -- it's just that how a woman feels in the bedroom, and how willing she is to go there, is based A LOT on how things are going outside of the bedroom. Since you mentioned your being Christian and conservative, I'll recommend a book to you: The 5 Sex Needs of Men adn Women, by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. This is NOT a sexual techniques book (although you might want to invest in one of those too at some point), but a book about how men and women approach sex very differently from each other --> and yet how we can understand and work within those differences for a great sex life as a married couple.

(4) Start taking the lead.

You mentioned:

She told me that our lovemaking was predictable. Now this would not be hard to overcome except she is in control of this part of our relationship

That bolded statement right there is a sexual turn-off to most women: it signifies that you are letting her run the show sexually, and are thereby emasculating yourself in the process. Women (generally) are sexually attracted to masculinity, and want a man who can take the lead, take her into his arms, and make love to her. Without knowing more about your situation, I won't say more than that, but this is an area not covered in The SSM that may apply to you.

Best regards,

Bagheera