The best thing I can do for the both of us right now is take a break. I cannot trust myself not to break down, and either yell or cry. I need to get myself together, and then concentrate on this. I am not saying I am writing him off, just taking a break from the drama for a while. He needs to miss me.
I think this is a really smart plan. I've spent a lot of time with my H over the past months, and it hasn't really been a good idea, because the hurt is too raw and the love too strong. Regrouping is a good thing, maybe the best of all things. You get to lick your wounds, think, and be strong in your silence. You're not just reacting. What's that saying, "he who maintains control wins?" Haven't implemented it yet, myself, but I can't wait until I'm as stoic as a M-F.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
You'll be fine Lola, just ride out the pull-back. He's missing you again, I'm sure, and that's good because he needs to feel like an a$$.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Sorry guys! I think it is a conspiracy, when the offer you a permanent job, they actually expect you to work your a$$ off!!! LMAO!!! But I am loving every minute of it...
Have not gotten the tooth fixed yet, it is not a really big problem because it was attached to a bonding, so the bonding is still there and I am not sure they would do a whole lot anyway.
I have been dark for 10 days. Until this morning. To be brief, because I have to work...lol...I texted H to ask him if he heard when the trustee's meeting for the bankruptcy was yet. He texted back to say that he had not. Then I sent a text asking when the first payment was, and he called me. Kind of surprised me. I have demoted him to last name on my cell (lol...) so I was shocked when he called. I was cool, calm, and he started saying that he was not sure how he was going to make it through the week b/c he was broke, blah blah. In the words of Aerosmith, its the same ole song and dance my friend.
Of course, this is where Lola sticks her foot in her mouth and says do you need me to loan you $50????
Yeah, I know. Rescuing again. But I did feel bad, especially when he said he had no money for gas or food. So he is supposed to come by this afternoon to pick it up.
Damn. I am trying to stay dark so he can see what it is like w/o me. And I go and rescue him again. Shiznit...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I guess if I were still Dbing my STBX I would have offered him money too (even though I can afford to give him any) but since I'm not I don't offer him a dime. Of course he's not supporting his child either so there ya go!
I understand the frustration with yourself for rescuing him. I did the same last night but in a different way.
Chin up. Smile, hand him the money, tell him good luck and go back to work.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
(((Mishka))) That is my plan. He is coming by after lunch, so I have the out of oh sorry busy blah blah gotta get back to work, can't chat. I suppose part of me just wanted a little contact. Although these past 10 days I have missed him, it has not been nearly as hard as I thought. I have done a tremendous amount of vacillating, hate him/love him, screw him/still love him. I have laughed and cried. Part of me almost wishes I had not sent that text this morning. It makes me feel guilty in some way, and I am not sure why. I guess it is because I am supposed to get getting over him, and I know I have pulled myself right back in again. And I feel stupid.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
