Several things: 1) Don't make a point of initiating contact with your wife, but when you do talk, make the absolute most of it. Show her that you aren't desperate for her, but that you are a mature, confident, put-together guy. Don't be crushed in front of her; don't be sad; don't look like your cat just died.
2) Keep focusing on doing things for yourself and for your daughter.
3) I think you should consider ways to work on communication. The fact that your wife left for a woman makes me think that what she loves is the talking that women do. This woman likely offers support and validation. I imagine that being gone so much left you no real way to compete in the area of "quality time". And your wife's idea of quality time is probably just having a chat and being understood. If you find an opening to just talk, then do it. Let her talk, you listen, you understand, and you validate. Can you do that? Going all dark on her will probably not work because she's used to dark with you being gone.
4) Keep moving forward with your life as though your wife is never coming back. She may not be. But perhaps her seeing you surviving, even thriving, without her may help her realize what she's leaving behind.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
