I agree in part, RMG. I am embracing a "new" future, but I'm not even beginning to add the idea of a new man in the picture, not yet.
The kids and I are the unit, now, and are getting quite used to it. It helps that they visit their father rather than live part-time with him (I know that goes against a lot of people here, but I feel it is what is best for our family). They only have 4 overnights a month there.
I won't pretend that there aren't pangs, but I focus on what we are doing, the fun we have planned. It is so hard to plan a new life, but we are doing it together. I get the kids involved in what we are doing, too. And some traditions they are keeping with their dad.
You did sound so very down in your post, though....I know that you were seeing a IC a few years ago. Could these feelings be contributed to something else going on in your life, a kind of projection of discontent with other aspects? Have you spoken to someone about the possibilities of medication? That is a long time to feel depressed, and that is what it sounds like....
