Welcome to Surviving, Fish! It's not where any of us ever wanted to be but it sure beats the alternative, which would be not surviving You're doing all the right things! The feelings you describe are absolutely on schedule. I too, when I first separated, felt this sense of relief and freedom. I was building a new life free of the stone that had been around my neck for years. Yet, I also felt deep sadness and grief at what I had lost. It's not just a R with W that you lost, sad as that is, it is also a great deal of your identity as a person, who you saw yourself as being. All our dreams and visions of our life change drastically. At times I felt like there was a hole in my chest and it would never be filled again. Yup, all normal stuff. The thing that I found really helpful was to push myself to make connections with other people. We men often try and get into another R quickly or at least find women to validate us because we're so darn hurt. That's not the way to heal, as you have found. Just try and connect with people as friends, acquaintances or whatever else. I found a faith community which really helped in staying active and connecting with others. What you do may be different, but my advice is keep on connecting with others. You will come through this...there is light at the end of the tunnel, it just takes time and patience with plenty of drastic ups and downs emotionally. Great to hear from you Fish!
