Met with my lawyer yesterday... even though I am an attorney, I am still learning some uncomfortable information. It will be tough to have the house sold as the the costs to maintain it are high-- but the fixed expenses are low--such as taxes and utilities. There is no mortgaage, and the fact that it would not be cheaper to leave elsewhere... I will have to revisit that issue with more detail if my wife insists to remain in the house and I will be destroyed financially. Even if I pay child support and some maintainence, the lifestyles of the children will change dramatically if i am to have to set up home elsewhere. It is unfair that I who did not want the divorce et al, will have to take the biggest hit here. I have to move from home, not have residential custody of the children, and my wife will have everything paid for. The only solace is that she have to go to work one way or another and will no longer have unlimited financial resources from me. Her party started, but won't be able to last.
I am also deciding whether or not me seeking residential custody is something that is personally and financially feasible. I do feel that I am the better parent and the children will be more well adjusted under my regular care. Despite my wife's many faults, unless I could show that she is unfit in some fashion--namely mental issues or driugs, despite her possible infedelity, it is very difficult to get residential custody from a stay home mother.
I could fight her and possibly win--but I would also have to assume not only my attorney fees, but more than likely hers as well. Also, in the background is the fact that I just statred the department at my firm earlier this year. I am not afraid of the challenge and have the utmost confidence of my success. Nevertheless, I must think of the best interests of the children...as if I am unable to succeed, they will be suffering financially. I know it will be my sole responsibility to care for them in that fashion no matter where they live. I want them to have as much as possible and have a normal and happy life.
I am meeting with a special psychologist recommended by my attorney to discuss this further. I am definitely prepared to meet all challenges--especially if my wife is unable to step up either now or posibly sometime in the future.
She is going to visit her Aunt and Uncle in Virginia this weekend. I still think she has other ulterior motives--namely meet up with her OM from North Carolina. She still denies it, but she has lied in so many occasions already, I believe nothing. She is making a poor parenting decision leaving the children during this specific time during this divorce.
I was also saddened to learn that she sold her engagement and wedding ring. I think she needed to pay her lawyer. It was very special, but I guess no more. I think she got ripped off from the person that she sold it to.
Reconilliation is over and never going to occur. At least from my perspective as I can never see us being together ever again. Trust is completely gone as is love from her to me. My love to her is pretty much over--as she hurt me too much and I could never forgive her nor even consider the fact that I would ever want more than a cordial relationship in the future. That will be my goal ===to at least have a amicable realtionship for the children's benefit only.
Well.. I waiting today for her settlement proposal. Lets see if we could work something out. If not, then we have to drag this out further.
