I think things are going really well right now. I know the time apart will be hard but I also think it will lead to good things. I just have to work on myself and wait it out.
Okay well my hubby is now 3,000 miles away from here. . .
Sigh.
Yesterday was a great day. A little stressful but we got along really really well. While I was with him I got a call for a job interview which promted talk about moving in together when he got home, he got whishy washy on me but I just let it slide and said it was okay that he did not know yet because he had a lot on his mind and then just dropped it. I guess I will just have to wait this out a little longer. But a job interview!!! Yay! Things are looking up as far as that goes.
It was just a really good day. Lol. Sorry. I don't mean to gush I just am replaying it all in my head and it was just good. It was bittersweet though because as much fun as we had it was sad because it was the last day for awhile. But the goal was to leave him with nothing but good memories! Mission accomplished. Nothing too exciting happened, we had a lot of errands to run to get him ready to leave. Watched a movie, went to a late dinner, came home and ML and then went to sleep since we had to be up so early. We did talk a lot about everything before we fell asleep. Nothing too serious but it was good, I felt like we were really close.
Then this morning we got up at the crack of dawn and got ready to leave for the airport. Made a Starbucks run! Essentials I tell ya!
When he went to get out of the car he kissed me and said "see ya in a month" and I got my first ILY in months!!! I said it first but he reciprocated and that is all that matters. Another kiss and there he went. . .
I cried all the way home. I'm okay now though. Just had to get it out of my system. In reality it is not that long. He already has his return flight booked which made me feel 1000 times better because then I know they cannot "make a paperwork mistake" and keep him forever! So November 11th I will get my babe back.
He has been texting me all afternoon in between flights and such. He is in DC right now about to get on his plane to Virginia. I think he is okay though. Just anxious.
I did write the letter and send it with him. It turned out a little different than the one I posted here but it was along the same lines, just longer. I also included the Scripture from our wedding vows to remind him of me/us. I tucked it into his folder and told him to wait and read it on the plane, per tradition. I got his sweatshirt, per tradition. Hehe. I'm wearing it right now. So cozy.
The next month is going to be a challenge but I think I will just have to keep busy, hang out with friends, etc. If I get this job I will definatly be busy. I managed to make it through six months without him and that was even tougher because we were living together beforehand and used to seeing each other everyday and it was hard because I was in "our" place so there were memories and his belongings. A lot tougher than this probably will be. So it's ok. I'm happy that he is already texting me about everything. I think this time apart is going to give him a lot to think about, as he has already been doing. i just gotta focus on that and I will be okay!
I am still frustrated by this moving situation. I wish he would just tell me what he wants to do. Yesterday he went back to "I don't know what I want to do yet" which is fine but I have to get moving on with my own life and I don't want to move out on my own and then two or three months later have to move again when he decides that it is what he wants. That's a lot of work and a lot of stress. I guess I will just get my second job, save money for a deposit, start looking a little here and there and just see what happens in the next few weeks. Maybe once he gets settled into his life on base he will have more time to think about what he wants to do when he gets home. I'm just so impatient!!!
But it's all good. I'm still so excited that I got an ILY!
In addition to the frequent texts he has been sending all day he also called me tonight to let me know what was going on and to talk. So two phone calls in one day. . .more than I usually get most weeks. He could have simply texted but chose to call. Makes me sad though because he is lonely already.
He is already haveing military drama and is going to call me again in the morning to let me know what is going on.
The call was only like ten minutes long but I ended it first simply because there was not much more to say and I did not want it to turn awkward silence and end weird. I did not say ILY when I ended the call because as much as I want to and know that most likely he would reciprocate I do not want to put pressure on him so only every once in awhile will I do this. Does that sound reasonable? I don't think he would get spooked but I also know he still has the feeling of being cautious to not lead me on.
All very positive updates! Funny we both got ILYs yesterday though I'd say your day was a little more positive;). Sounds like you left him with lots of positive memories in any case.
I think your idea not to say ILY very often is a good one.Would you consider not saying it at all unless he does first? Or maybe you don't think this is necessary in you sitch.
You gave him the letter, and he's obviously read it, and still called you. So the letter must have been a good thing :).
Hang in there Daisy-you're doing so well!!!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Even when we were madly in love and engaged he rarely said ILY first and it used to really bother me but now I look at the root that he never learned how to express his feelings and it does not come naturally to him at all. So when we were happy and living together maybe he would say it first once for every five times I said it first. Does that make sense?
I do know that I will not say it very often even though I want to all the time. Hehe. I can show some self control!
I'm just going to keep on being here for him and show him that I can be independent and strong and work on my own life while he is away and yet still leave enough room for him when he comes back, if he chooses to move in with me.
Holy Moly Daisy!!! Sounds like an excellent memory that you left him with!!
You are doing soooo good and have come a long way!!! I am so happy for your ILY!!!! Hang in there you are doing so good and less than a month too so that is great.
He called again this morning for another ten minute call before I had to go to work (I hate the time difference) just to tell me he got settled in with a company and is taking a PT test tomorrow morning. He said he was talking to one guy who wants to get him out of there asap and so as soon as he passes he can come home so it might only be a couple of weeks instead of a month!!! So that's good news.
Funny thing is I made goals yesterday of things I want to accomplish before he comes home and when he said it might be early I was happy but also like "what about my plans!" Lol.
Whatever happens, happens. It's nice being the only one he reaches out to in situations like this. I really think it is going to help him realize that there is something about our relationship that he cannot find with anyone else, friends or family wise. It's a good opportunity for him to step back and think things over.
Thanks for checking in. I've been lurking the past few days. I don't seem to have too much to say right now. I have been working a lot too so that doesn't help as I am not online when everyone else seems to be.
Things are going well though. Hubby and I talk all the time. More than we had in awhile. He is asking how I am, how is work, how did my interview go, etc. Which is all very exciting. He is finally starting to show some interest in my life. Novel idea.
He is training away and doing well and that's all that matters. The sooner he passes the sooner he comes home!
My job interview went well. I will know by Wednesday if I got the job or not. Which is a good thing because my current employer just cut my hours way way back for no apparent reason other than slowness. Grr. So it will be a welcome change if I can get it and then I can start looking at apartments. Yay!
One example is last night my friend and I were online and she was checking her myspace page and I was like "look at h's!" And when she checked it we saw that he had changed his status to single. I was soooo furious. He had just logged in three days beforehand too so it was not like he hadn't been on in awhile. I was really upset and kinda wanting to say "screw you!" because I had just done him a massive favor by letting him borrow some money so that he would not overdraft his checking account. It was the middle of the night where he is so I did not send anything. Then today when we were talking it was all normal and fine. So I decided to mention it. I just said "There is something that is bothering me but I do not want it to lead to an argument" he asked what and so I told him that I had seen his status and that it hurt my feelings. He replied that he didn't remember when he had changed it (so it must have been awhile ago) but that next time he was online he would switch it. I said thank you and told him it would make me feel a lot better.
The reason I share all that is because it is a CLASSIC example of something I would have flipped! out about in the past but I gave it time and space and then calmly mentioned it and got a much much better response than if I had gone psycho on him and yelled and demanded.
Maybe I am getting the hang of this after all!
Thanks again for checking in on me. I'll post soon. I promise!
