God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[theotherhalf]

I feel the tides a changing...

I am so ticked off at H right now I don't really care if I ever see him again...well, I don't mean that, but...

H got his paycheck this weekend. I entered it tonight. After taking out the checks he wrote for HIS bills (rent, utilities, phone)and misc since there is $302.00 for me for 2 weeks. That means I am getting about $600 a month from him to pay the bills here. My house payment is 617. How does that work? L told me awhile back that I would get about 900 a month child support if we D. So I am not even getting that.

And I'm not supposed to make him feel guilty, apply pressure, etc...???? WTH!?!?! And he just blows it off like it is what it is and drives away...I'm sick and damb tired of all this sh*t!!! I'm mad as h*ll! He's doing whatever the h*ll he wants, when he wants, with whomever he wants with no regards to me or these kids. He is not stupid. He can see very clearly that we are losing our ars, and everything else with it, just so that he can live there and be with OW. The right thing to do would to go get a D or to move back home and he isn't doing either one. WTH?

I am tempted to tell him that I want to stay in this house until at least D17 graduates because that is what is best for her, and that I don't care what he has to do but he needs to do something to make that happen. In the meantime he IS STILL M and there will be no OW. There will be no more hanging out with me. That from here on out he will respect me and my house. After graduation he can go to h*ll and take OW with him.