Looks like the gang's all here even my sorry self. As mentioned I have been having a rough patch, and my therapist T2L pulled me through...LOL {{{hugs, kisses and strength}}}}.
I have been trying to do the love bank and sortva a Plan A, trying to be nice but blowing it every couple days. I've decided that this is too difficult to do because my emotions are still too raw. Especially does not help when I see the OW at work. An example of this today is OW was in training class sitting in back. I was in the front and it was driving me crazy, well the class was about conflict resolution, so the trainer asks me how I currently handle conflict, so I say as in a joke "well I am Italian, so I don't get mad -- I get even", the class laughs and then I say "always get even no matter how long it takes", then I turn around and look straight at OW, she looked pale. I enjoyed it by myself.
But with my H, I have decided to step back - not no contact but totally detach unless absolutely have to. No friendship at work, will avoid H at all costs. If H stops over after dropping D off I will be out -- till he leaves, not be available. My D28 talked to H about an hour tonight. She said he was very depressed. He did say that I was controlling and we had problems. She said well you should have talked to her about it. She also told him that D15 was mad at him since she felt he was no longer a role model for her. D said that what happens if I and D15 left Tx and went back to CT -- H would have no family around him. Will see what happens. But I need for my own sanity to get out of the way for awhile, then maybe I will be strong enough to do Plan A.
T2L is leading the pack. You know we are all rooting for you. I pray everyday for my friends on this stich. H does not know what is hitting him -- Bam DB attack. We can all learn from what you are doing.
Marisol, I think the OW is playing the pretend prego card. Just for attention. She is a 21 year old child that has the attention of an older man. It will get boring for her after awhile. I agree about my D also, originally I tried to keep peace with her and H but now I think she is old enough to decide how she wants to handle it. Need less control and more let go.
Twinhope, sounds like your H is "turning the other cheek", you are confusing him. This is exactly the reaction you want. Keep it up. When he picks up the twins and brings them around the Ow -- give them prune juice first. That will discourage her! We are all taking babysteps here.
JGrind or should I say "Ms. Assertive", how proud we are of you. Doing the landscaping. You go girl! it is discouraging on a daily basis. I know how tough it will be for that anniversary - work, hide, do anything but acknowledge the day especially to H. All these pesky holidays keep popping up. I was in the store yesterday and they were putting up X-mas stuff and I almost started crying in Walmart. Ouch
TxMom, we are on the same page -- It is really a new and terrible time for us with them just recently leaving. I agree with T2L about him being in a fog and right now we have to be responsible for the kids. Tough yes, but if we were D we would still have to be in the long run. I will address this more in your stich.
Sorry this is so long but I had to come out of my own "depression fog", need to live one day at a time and keep going.
take care all. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
