This is a depressing evening for me. I was fine until S14 asked, out of the blue, if Id keep H name or change back to my maiden name. Told him Id like to keep the same name as my children. He says "yeah!". I asked why it concerns him, he didnt answer, just skipped off to take a shower. I guess H must be saying the D word to kids.
H and I rarely see or speak to each other anymore. My 180 is to be respectfully assertive since I am very passive in nature. Ive had several opportunities to use my 180 and it has left him speechless each time. So is he distancing further b/c of it? Maybe it is not working, but nevertheless I will continue assertiveness training if not for this M , but for myself , as an example to my kids, and my other R. Its just so heartbreaking when he calls, I answer (always upbeat of course) and coldly says, "I am calling to speak to D, S, S" Not even a "Hi".
I bought pretty bushes and mums to plant around our house this weekend. We general contracted/built this house together 5 yr ago, but it has been frustrating and high maintenance. Too many repairs to make, little interior decor, and no landscaping (we're lucky to have grass!). The kids and I landscaped around the house this weekend. It was fun and it looks so nice. Im so proud. H came over for a whole hour to visit kids yesterday. We made small talk about our weekends and he did eventually compliment the landscape.
16yr anniversary is this Friday. At least I am scheduled to work.Hope I can think straight. Marisol, you survived your anniversary in Sept. With Gods grace I will too. Thank God I found my way back to him. I think many lose their faith through an ordeal like this, but this has done nothing but strengthen my faith. God has been my new best friend.
I still feel the need to get inside H head though. I posted on Tx mom's thread earlier today about whether or not I should try to contact H's best friend whom he is in contact with regularly b/c they work together. They've been best friends since 2nd grade and I know he was at high school reuiion with H a few weeks ago. The night H left, he admitted to confiding in his friend about his feelings and said his friend hated him for the way he felt. Does H still confide in him, and what is he saying? I have a burning need to know. Can his friend be a positive influence and supporter of this M? Dont know whether to move forward with it or leave it alone.
Tx mom, Ive been reading some of your posts on both threads and my heart goes out to you. A baby! To do this to any age child is selfish enough, but he'll have extra regrets someday b/c he will have missed out on such special moments. The 1st year is full of growth, milestones - such precious moments. I love babies so much. I have a special place in my heart b/c I work NICU taking care of sick babies. It is such a rewarding job, and I could not think of anything else Id rather do. I get teary as I write this.
Marisol, oh my. As much as I love babies, I agree this is a mess enough . I have to wonder if this is some game on OW part to keep her claws in. I could see a 21yr being manipulative like that .She has no character anyway being with a M man. I do understand your loss of hope and faith if this does end up being the case. I cant even imagine, b/c no matter what happens btwn them, that baby is a forever connection with that OW, but it's not your burden to bear - it is theirs. For now let us try to keep the faith that this is not the case and maybe a close call will help to open H eyes a bit.
