Puppy, All good points. Unfortunately no easy answers. Alot of this is going with your gut and for some intuition and gut is driven by one's own personal desires. Things can seem right because you want it so badly.
BC, Follow puppy's advice as closely as you can. If you get confused or don't know what to do, try NOT to do more then just be a "kind, but distant friend" instead of driving back into the whole situation. Emotionally protect yourself for now... hope that makes sense...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
