S, I had to chuckle at your comments about the shoes and clothes that you h had been wearing. They all appear to be reading the same book on what to do or not to do throughout their self examination of themselves. He'll continue to try on different "masks" along the way until he finds one that he's comfortable w.
You've been well in allowing him to be himself...no demands. But what about you? I'm concerned that you've been at this for a while and as a lbs, we never worry about ourselves during this time. Are you taking care of yourself? Staying busy w/those things that you've wanted to do and never had the time? While he's out blazing a new trail in the universe, you too should be rediscovering yourself during this time.
Just remember, it all takes lots of time, energy, patience, compassion and empathy when they are trying to find themselves. Whether he comes or not, it's out of our control. The man upstairs will be the one to determine whether he's ready to return to you or if there is another destiny for the both of you. I do think, from what you've posted, he's got a ways to go.
BTW, many of them do want to return, but the lbs has moved on and has shut the door on them. Some have too much pride to ever admit to the lbs that they screwed up and want to come home. Others will never grow up and like the tunnel so much that they stay in it and become bitter old people who are all alone at the end of the day. But for now, keep the faith and hope alive. We do not know the outcome of your h's destiny but we can pray and support you along the way. We can hope that he's going to be one of those that will want to come home and start anew w/you when he's finished growing up.
Continue to post...it helps sometimes to talk to others.
I wanted to share my thoughts on what Snodderly said. First, let me say that Snodderly probably has more experience in dealing with MLC than anyone on the board and she offers some very good suggestions on things. I would like to comment on her statement. "Some of the MLCers have too much pride to ever admit that they did anything wrong to the LBS" I would agrue that if someone still felt that way, then they really haven't navigated through MLC. Comming out of MLC is supposed to be an awakening, acknowledging wrongs and doing better for the rest of your life. Anyway, that's my take on it.
