My H hates short hair too, but you know, I am keeping this. I know a blessing in disguise, and when I have complete strangers come up to me in the store and ask me where I get my hair done, I'm leaving well enough alone.
I usually wore a bandana and a ball cap too. For me, it was a good look. My head has a good shape and I never worried too much about trying to hide my condition with the wigs. I actually liked the opportunity that it gave me to talke about BC if someone asked.
Don't be so hard on yourself about being "girly". You don't need hair to make you that. I am a girly-tomboy myself. (Love football, golf, drag racing, ATV racing, fast cars AND makeup, purses, jewlery, lace etc) I think it is most important what you feel about yourself. Did you ever watch Sex in the City? (series not movie) I loved the one where Samantha had BC and was undergoing chemo and have to give a big speech. She yanked her wig off. Her character is a dynamic woman and so totally not defined by just hair or nails.
I am jealous that you have to GAIN weight!
We are never satisified, are we?
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
LOL no we probably arent. may ask you a question or 2? if they are to hard or personal tell me to shut up lol, i can handle it, since I am so isolated, its hard.
did you find anything to help with the naseau from the chemo? I so hate it, and nothing has really helped, and its so hard trying to explain to family or people on days when I take it, omg I JUST CANT TODAY!
ok and 2, do you really think your BC contributed to the sitch in your marriage? I mean, our H are so diff, in how they handled things, but, I get so angry thinking that this is all ok, because of my lupus and more than likely cancer, cancer is the only thing that would do what they had to do, and with me already on it, my results arent as cut and dry as yours would be as you werent already on chemo. our health, the scared of what if I die, can it REALLY lead men to what they are doing? or is it just something in them that was already there, and our health issues triggered it? I am trying so hard to understand............
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
did you find anything to help with the naseau from the chemo?
Yes I did, but will have to look it up and get back to you. I can't remember the names of the drugs. I actually had an easier time with the chemo (slept most of the time) than I did the radiation. That really sucked. Wore me out and I got some painful burns.
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do you really think your BC contributed to the sitch in your marriage? I mean, our H are so diff, in how they handled things, but, I get so angry thinking that this is all ok, because of my lupus and more than likely cancer, cancer is the only thing that would do what they had to do, and with me already on it, my results arent as cut and dry as yours would be as you werent already on chemo. our health, the scared of what if I die, can it REALLY lead men to what they are doing? or is it just something in them that was already there, and our health issues triggered it?
Each situation is different. I don't think my BC was the sole cause, but I do think it was the final trigger. Sort of a last straw.
There were other problems that added to it, and I took a lot of things for granted. Things that were important for him were routine for me. We had vastly different childhoods, although that is not ever an excuse. It just caused me to have different expectations. Now I am trying to not have any expectations.
If I can suggest, there is a lot on this board about prayer and forgiveness. Please read as much of it as you can. You have every right to be very angry at how you have been treated, by your H and the OW. But that anger is going to use up important energy that you need to get well. I can also tell that you are afraid, and that's ok. I'm still afraid. But none of us are going to get out of this alive, and I would rather have time to enjoy and appreciate each and every day that I have. I would hate to be someone that gets in the car to go to work...and never comes home.
It will be ok. Keep breathing. Pray. Know that I am here and will try to help you however I can. Lots of others here will to.
I'll get back to you about the drugs.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
thanks. I truly mean it. yes i am scared to death. this morning at chemo, the nurse had been reading my chart, then came to take out my iv, and said looks like we are gonna be seeing you more often. OMG WTF???? I go to a no insurance place, so getting things back takes longer, of course she cant or wont tell me jack. I am scared she knows what my lymph nodes came back and I dont yet. and I am tired of feeling guilty for being scared. more than anything I am tired of being alone. its just hard, no one in my "real" life understands, I am expected to always be as big as king kong........i am under 100 pounds
Last edited by Babygirl; 10/14/0808:54 PM.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
BG-I don't think the illness caused this at all. My H was on way out door last year before I found out about BC. He stayed. I think out of obligation/love. What kind of man would he have been to just walk out then? But it is different this time. He thinks of us as separated, I guess, sleeping in other room for a few weeks now. But the last 2 have been different. He has actually been texting for me for no reason, was upset that I wasn't feeling well, even texted twice yesterday to see how I was feeling. I have had many other things happen and he doesn't check that much. Even today, he texted to ask me a really dumb question, I answered, requiring no reply, but he replied anyway. He was very quiet last night, so something is going on in his head. I just wish I knew what. I'm holding onto hope that things are improving. I just have to remind myself about the pull backs so I don't freak out. Really tired tonight. Running fever. Just wish this pain in my side would go away. Test results always seem to take forever.
Everyone keep their chins up and we can support each other.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Kelaaron, It's good that your H is reaching out to you and that you can recognize that he is processing some of his feelings.
I also have to remember about the pull backs. I have trouble anticipating them and am usually surprised by the hurt.
How are you feeling this morning? Do you still have a fever? Is that common for you? I agree about the test results...they take so long when you are hanging for an answer. Why do you have pain in your side? Is that in incision site? Both of my sites still hurt occasionally, I had a setinal node biopsy and the lumpectomy. The setinal note hurt the worst!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
I too get really surprised and then hurt by the pull backs. In fact, it wasn't until I read your thread that I really saw what they were.
I'm not feeling too bad today so far. The fever has been along with the pain and it is not normal. Actually started on Saturday night and that is what I'm waiting for the ultrasound results for. I thought it may be appendix, but with all of the pics of liver they took, I just don't know. Had gallstones years ago, even with no gallbladder they can still happen, so now I'm thinking there may be some in liver. If it isn't one thing with me it is another.
Actually, I had no problems after either lumpectomy (one no scar, the second horrible scar) but since my cervix was removed I have occasional pains there. If I didn't have test results to back everything up, I would think I was a hypocondriac some days. At 36, I should be healthier, and on the whole I actually am.
Anyway, thanks for asking. So H is home today and tomorrow. I'm kinda wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. Beautiful day out though for sunny florida. It is actually cool. I may open the windows. We'll see in about an hour how hot it is actually going to get.
Have a great day.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
I looked up the drugs that you were asking about yesterday. They were: Emend, Compazine and Kytril. They are all anti-nausea. There was also another one that was given thru IV immediately before the chemo drugs. I was also on Ambien (sleep) and Ativan (anti D).
I can't believe that they haven't given you the results of your lymp node bios. Do you have to meet w/a doc to have them do that? I can understand that the not knowing must be terrible for you.
Do you take your chemo thru IV and if so do you have a port?
Don't you dare feel guilty for being scared. I've been there and I don't know a person alive that would not be scared!!
I'm thinking of you and hope that you feel better today!! ((((BG))))
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Wow Sunny Florida sounds nice! Finally got some of your rain Babygirl. Not a bunch but a bit of a shower, 70 right now, supposed to be in the 50's by 5:00.
