T2L - It is just awesome to see your progress and how positive and excited you are! You are definitely an inspiration for me as well. I just wished that my H wouldn't keep pushing for the D. He keeps asking me about the papers and what can we do to get it done. He called yesterday about picking up jackets he left and persisted about the papers. I calmly asked him what the rush was and he said he just wanted to finish what he started since he is also thinking about leaving the company he is with he just wants to "get it off his chest". He made the comment of "I just can't be like this....I'm married....I'm not married". It just makes me wonder. Is he seeing if I will say that I still want to be married or is he pushing for the D because of outside circumstances like marrying the OW or is she pregnant. I don't know if she is or isn't. I did see an email sent yesterday by her to him about going to the doctor today and asking her boss to leave early but to keep it between them. Then his response was "Ha! Ha! Everyone thinks your prego??" and she replied "Scary I know great!". So what does that mean??
In my mind I have already decided that if she does get pregnant or already is I will sign the papers with no reconciliation and just be done with it. I refuse to go through that. There are plenty of other men in this world looking for love and I deserve to be with someone better than him. I am holding on because I love him and I feel that there is a chance to save our marriage but if the unthinkable happens (I am praying that it will not) I will loose all hope because I will have lost all my faith in him.
Hope - My D16 is in the same state as your daughter. She has not spoken to her father since he left in August. She refuses to reply to his text msgs and answer his calls. I have talked with her about it and have encouraged her to talk with him to let her feelings be known. Ultimately it is her choice. She is old enough to decide for herself. She has told me that she wants him to hurt as much as he has hurt her. I know in time it will heal. She just needs her space right now.
I am not GALing like I should. I have been soul searching to find what it is that I enjoy doing for fun and also to find out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am in a dead end job with no reward. I feel like I have so much to give and I am stuck. I have to start focusing on me and asking myself the right questions.
Sorry for being down ladies......I have to get back up!!!!!
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
