I guess it's over

[Trixi]

Only you can probably truly answer that question. I'd ask differently, can you let him go without the paperwork? Truly let him go? If you can, you can always hold off on the filing. If you need the paperwork to move on mentally/emotionally, then maybe it is in fact time to file.

How long's the waiting period in your state? That might be a consideration, too.

Waiting period is only 90 days.
I think that I still have this little ember of denial/hope; that he will somehow realize that he is making a terrible mistake and turn around. (You know, all those stories where the WAS changes their mind at the 11th hour.)
I anticipate that concrete moves towards D will hurt a great deal--even if intellectually I know it is for the best.

I've been checking out a dating site (not match as I don't want to accidentally see his profile) and many of the men say that the lady must not be married. And, I am married, technically.
And I don't blame them, either.

Now, I haven't posted a profile as I know I am not ready--but, when I am ready, I don't want my legal status to stand in my way of meeting quality people. KWIM?

OTOH, I still love my H. I would love to actually build a life with him. WHY can't I just see the reality????? I mean, I do see it-- but then I fall back into this fantasy world of when we were dating earlier this year. A fantasy world of him actually DOING something to be with ME. Silly, I know.
Letting go sure is hard.

On a different note; the guy I met at Wednesday's meetup came over on Saturday to bring me the letters and ended up taking my mower with him so he could fix it. We originally were going to have me buy a mower, but nothing was on sale and he thought it would be much better to just fix it. He did get it done, so now I just need to get it back from him. It was nice to hang out with him.

My xbf has ticked me off to the point I am now invisible when I go online. He got way too needy and clingy. gross. Now I understand how H felt. Sorta. The difference is that I don't owe xbf anything since we aren't married. I feel like I don't know the xbf anymore (or him, me) so it is very inappropriate to talk such a permanent future. (ie, "We'll get married; I'll move into your house") YUCK.

"Non-date" meetup guy and I are still logging lots of IM time. I enjoy him a great deal. I know at some point he will find a GF--that will sort of suck. (And here way have ANOTHER instance where I can relate to my H. H doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't really want me, either.) I really like that non-date guy likes me and he is a blast to talk to; but he isn't 'the one'. So, I know that he needs to go and find 'the one' and I will be a bit bummed because I know that I won't get as much 'time' with him.

I have to see H today so he can sign the tax return and give me my portion of the refund from 06. I do pretty good until I have to talk to him; even if it's only on IM. When I talk to him, though, it all comes back. I still love this jerk. God knows why.
Feeling a bit ill about seeing him. I do NOT want to cry. And if he brings up filing, I ESPECIALLY don't want to cry.
UUUUUUGH!