Rather than try to quote all the posts above I will just touch on a few things that stuck out.
I actually heard about the book "365 days of sex" a few weeks ago - I think there is another one where a couple with a hundred days... anyway, not sure if she heard about it on one of the morning Oprah, The View type shows or now. However, I think there is a big difference between "let's try having sex 365 days" where both partners are in - versus what we are doing "you initiate for 365 days" where I am the one doing most of the work - however, like I said before - this is forcing two things (1)I make more of an attempt and I am getting more comfortable in part because of (2) she must respond in a positive way whether she says yes or no.
In the beginning I thought - why did she pick EVERY night... why not something like "three nights a week" or something like that... well, I know the answer to that... I am a procrastinator - if you give me a task to do and tell me it is due in 7 days - I will work on it the 7th day. So, if she had said "I want you to initiate 10 times a month" I would have put it off till the last 10 days.
On the issue of being hurt by rejection - I was like that years ago... not so much now. Now, I am more frustrated by the fact that I have something I want to do and share and no one to do and share it with. It's not like playing pool - where I can go to the pool hall every Friday and get my fix whether my wife like pool or not. If your spouse doesn't want sex as much as you then that's just the way it is and you have to cope with it - this can cause a lot of resentment. Pile on there a spouse who is not comfortable talking about sex and will never try anything outside a vanilla safety zone.
The one thing that has helped me the most is that my business is booming. This is so rewarding and does so many things to me - confidence, stress, security, etc - that I forget how long it has been since we had sex.
Another thing playing in my favor is that I am currently training for a physical test in 20 days. When I do this I drop about a pound a day and my overall appearance goes from tubby hubby to fit man. She is really into physical appearance - every time some broad shouldered fit man comes on TV she starts panting.
