I think a lot of people in our shoes, those who were married for a long time, raised families, and were out of the "singles scene" most of their adult life have no "dating skills" or may be aren't emotionally ready to "date." Seems we have a cloud of confusion over our heads between dating and what a relationship is. It is so easy to meet others who have been in our shoes, had a spouse that left, and we can relate easily to that void or pain. It's not a good basis on which to start a relationship. People encourage us to "move on." I went through it, and it's a very familiar pattern. When you've had a long marriage end, in my case, it was about 24 years, you have to "unlearn" or put aside or overcome quite a bit, even the "good stuff" about a marriage. A date does not equal a relationship. Dating just means you're socializing, meeting new people, adding new dimensions to your life. I realized it was just plain dangerous to my emotional well-being to date for a bit. I was reaching for something that quite frankly was out of my abilities for the time being. I needed to re-discover me, to find that part of me that wasn't defined by a long-term marriage.
Statistically speaking, it *can* happen that you do find someone you fall in love with during that early period post-divorce. But it takes two very grounded, emotionally stable people to do that. Not many people know themselves well enough after a long-term marriage ends nor are they emotionally stable enough to be able to fully participate and support a marriage after divorce.
