Thanks. I am seeing certain situations now that I didn't a few weeks ago. I am sure she is calling me because her realtionships are failing and feels I am probably an easy mark right now. I have decided not to answer her calls. I am no drinking again, have really no desire to get back on that horse. I did talk to my MIL about her conversations with my wife and to not talk to me about it at all. She apologized and said she would keep a low key with me n regards to her conversations. Spent a lot of time this weekend reflecting on things. I have alot of issues I have with my house and finances I am getting into right now. Need to focus on those. Yes I do miss a woman's company, but you are right, I don't think at this point in my life I want anyone but her, which I think is probably what keeps me in check. I am staying strong, and as you said, wonder how often these "temptations" will appear. The camp closes or me officially this weekend. My friends there who have kept me good and focused the past 2.5 months will mostly be far away. I will see them at least once a month over the winter which is great. I have been invited to dinners, sleep overs and parties. Feels great. I want this brake job out of the way. Almost wish I id it yesterday. I feel once this is done, any contact she has with me after will be moving forward, not just favor or fixing cars.
I am staying at the one day at a time mentallity. My friends that are very close to me are getting worried about things that may come up whereI may act impulsively rather than inteligently. Had a few phone calls last night. There is a song by Tracy Lawrence that is titled "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" I know who they are. they have never left my side. They are supportive and not damning of my W. They know it takes two to damage a marriage, but can't forgive her affair, at least until I do. I think burning my candles at bot ends was good as a distraction from her and getting projects accomplished, but it hasn't allowed me to do anything for me. I think, Sandi, that my draw to her friend was just that. I'll be honest, if she had showed up at my camp this weekend and ut moves on me, I think I would've backed down, but I don't know for sure. I do now after taking a day and a half of downtime and rereading DR. Sounds funny but it does calm me down reading it and revieiwing things. I am very scared to be alone, emotionally, but have been doing it for a while now. I am focused on what I need to do in order to move forward and the things I need to keep doing in regards to W. My friends have told me to do the brakes and then go very dark. To the point of if she is at my house when I pull up, keep driving and check back until she leaves. Saw her yesterday when I got home after finding out i didn't sell my camp. I was upset and mad, but didn't dwell or boohoo, or whine, said I was pissed and moved on with my business. she left about 10 minutes after I got home. Could have used a hug...Anyway, thanks for looking out for me. I usually post and then think about things after I read my post. I see this situation with her GF as the do all end all of my M. Still feel it was some BS thing to see what my response would be. Oh well, with ach day comes new hope...
