Just an update on my situation. We have had two issues to deal with during this time... her period - an then an episode at her workplace that has her very stressed/upset (this just happened last few days)
All in all, I think maybe SHE is the one getting as much of a training from this as I am...
I think the reason I slowed down on my initiating in the first place is because it would often lead to fights. For two reasons... 1. she would be upset that I was asking at a bad time/ bad place/ bad way/ etc 2. I would feel rejected and unloved which would cause me to lash out.
So, I quit initiating unless it was a "sure deal" because too often it would end with hard feelings.
Now, SHE is having to say "no" in a very nice loving manner (something our counselor years ago told her to work on) - she can't establish a system where I MUST ask every night - then, get pissed because I'm asking.
As such, every night she is not in the mood (90% of the time) she has to say no in a loving, caring manner.
I guarantee if she ever bites my rear for initiating - game over.
