It is easy to make generalizations about men and their ability to be unfaithful, but it isn't the case with all men.

I had the painful experience of my W asking me how she looked as she prepared to go out to a single's event in 'support' of one of her many single friends.

Well, she later admitted she flirted but was really not interested in pursuing anything, though she did get the guy's #.

Not a PA, but definitly an unfaithful attitude and playing with fire.


I don't think sending the text to OW or trying to 'mess up her world' would do anything good. It is H who is screwing up. He's the one who made the choice to fool around. In any case, I think it would only make him mad at you. But I definitly relate to how you feel about it.

You can choose to set your boundaries, and not have any sexual contact until OW is gone.....for good.

Though you didn't mention it, I think some would counsel you to give him an ultimatum. The problem with ultimatums is that they don't provide any motivation for the WAS to do the right thing. Ultimatums may backfire.




Last edited by native; 10/14/08 06:30 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09