sorry briget, i was trying to not "dwell" on the past. all those age, # years, "statistics"... it shouldn't matter now, should it? my life should be "moved on"- that's what i think at least, but maybe i'm wrong, but yes, i am the ex wife. S is 9, D is 7. ex H just said he didn't want to be married, doesn't love me anymore, started having an affair, etc.. took almost 2 years for me to finally accept that he wanted a D and so finally did it, but now, it's been 5 years and sometimes i feel as unhappy now as I did back then. i just thought that things would be better for me by now but I'm still depressed, still hate life, still hate being single, hate raising the kids alone. I guess this means i haven't really accepted things. how much more time needs to pass? i just want to be at peace with myself.
all my life i've felt alone and i hated it. it was only when i was married that i felt like anyone really loved me. now, i'm just alone again and i guess i hate it. yes, i hate it but i think i'm trying to accept it and it's very painful. so very painful...
