Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

I'm glad you popped on. 1st thing I have to say is do not isolate. I know it feels like you just want to bury your self but you must still GAL and pamper yourself. Remember your daughter needs you right now and you are also being an example of overcoming whatever life throws at you. You want to give that spunk to your daughters.

You are right on track. I felt stronger in the 1st few months, later I found out it wasn't strength it was shock. It wasn't until about the 3rd month that it all really hit me and the sorrow took over. Sounds like the reality of it is hitting you. Don't be too hard on your self and please continue to walk and GAL it really helps.

I would not force your daughter. She is old enough to know. This is the repercussion of his actions and if she is upset then she should be allowed to be upset. H needs to feel the pain of his actions. You see in their heads they think everyone will be mad just for a little while and then they will all get over it. After a few months your H will realize that it doesn't work that way. The pain they feel is necessary. If they don't feel the pain they may never get out of it or they may do it again. Don't protect them from what they must experience. My told me at the beginning I knew what I had and I knew what i was going to do and fully aware of what I was doing I did it anyways. If she doesn't want to talk say sorry I asked her she is angry with you and she will not get on the phone. try again tomorrow.

Ya know i still have no guarantees and it's scary. But I'm giving it my all and that's all I can do or any of us can do.


So when my kids cut his butt off I was like well guess you knew what you were doing and knew what you were losing. I even think cutting him off was for the best. I even think it's helped me go into this Plan A and Plan B.

Unless they experience and feel the pain they don't change.

Remember you only have control of your life not his. I was told this a lot. I also have specific things I pray over my H and speak over him. I can give them to you, but I'd rather over email so who ever is interested let me know. I'm not sure we are even allowed to post email addresses.

1 day at a time. These are the things I din and I swear that helped me.
-GAL no matter how you feel. This is not bases on how you feel. Your gonna feel like crap for a while so GAL anyways.
-Do not expect any rational normal thinking from your spouse or you are the crazy one.
-Exercise or walk daily
-Do not isolate, talk to friends, have lunch, etc.
- I personally recommend getting a really good whole food based vitamin and extra B complex. It's really helped the nerves.
-Listen to music you love.
-Pray
-ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP with your spouse. They are in the alien fog and you will get alien answers. Keep it light or as little as possible. This is where GAL comes in and works well.
-GET THE FOCUS OFF WALK AWAY spouse and try and focus on me and the kids. Consider what it is I want out of life. Get to know who I am and become comfortable and confident just being me.
-Tell myself every day I am going to make it.

So If I think of more I will list them, but those are the things I did the first several months that helped me get to almost 6 months.

I promise you will all eventually start to feel just a tiny bit better as time goes by. No it does not feel good, but you learn to adjust to the situation.
My H has been out of the house since May 8th and I think personally it was better than having him her because it was no longer him anyways. I know several of you have your spouses gone but try as best you can to learn to enjoy this special time for yourself. Start up something, take a class, scrap book, read, take a bath and do stuff for you and take your eyes off your spouse or you truly will be even more unhappy.

I decided to take the kids and I on day trips and take lots of pictures. I am going to print them and fill up picture frames so when he pops by he can see we are still living our lives. i hear this bugs the spouse.
I think in the next few weeks I'm going to paint and redecorate a spare room.
When this 1st happened I threw out my blankets and got all new ones for my bed. Redecorating does wonders and the spouse can see that you are still living life.
They must see you are still living life. That doesn't mean to be mean, it just meas start living. Don't let discovery day be the last day you lived.
I'll pop on tomorrow....G'night ya'll...XOXO