If you all can believe it or not, it's been more 5 years since the D and 5 years since I've posted here. During the D, this was the only thing that kept me going- support from people going through the same thing, etc... Then, little by little, I weaned myself off of the DB community and as they say, 'got a life'. So yes, I got a life, new friends, new job, new hobbies, new school for the kids--got a life where "nobody knows your name", and the past 5 years things are good and things are bad. And when things are good, they aren't even really as good as i'd like it to be, but when things are bad, they are just so darn awful bad. It's like going through the D right from the beginning to the end again. I can't stand it. When does it get better and why after so many years isn't it better???!!! Sometimes I feel just as alone as I did when it all first started. What I hate most is the frustrations of raising 2 kids alone and by myself. I hate yelling at my kids because I love them so much and they really are great kids. But I am just so tired and so frustrated. Sometimes it seems like they make so little progress and everything you do is useless and pointless. No one would understand the feelings you are going through except parent #2 who of course is non existant so some help that is! I just feel so alone and all by myself.
I ask again, after 5 years, why isnt it any better? What am I doing wrong? I am so tired of yelling. I just feel so old and worn out.
