One thing I wanted to run by everyone is that my MC is very intrigued by the fact that I have no anger / animosity towards my WAW. I wanted to get everyone's take on this to see if they've had similar feelings.
I have also experienced almost zero anger. I went from shock to grief to acceptance and pretty much bypassed anger entirely.
I am only two months in, so perhaps the anger will pop up at some point as others have noted. But it sure doesn't feel like it will. I'm well into acceptance and have really detached at this point. No real reason to get angry anymore... I am moving on.
Can't really say why I didn't feel anger. I don't really know anymore than you.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
Hey there VS, I'm hanging in there. I started reading Divorce Remedy. Good Book. I have pretty much detached myself and been trying to get on with my life. I won't reach out for her anymore. I've tried numerous times with no response. Even if we could reconcile, I don't know how it would feel, with everything that her family has said and done. I've been thinking about that lately.
Thanks for posting Tech. It's been 9 weeks since she left. I am definitely feeling frustration over not getting any answers on anything and the fact that I can't see my dog. I definitelty don't feel anger though..
We have a dog and a cat. She shows up at the house (when i'm at work) every few weeks to take more of her things and gets to spend time with the cat. In the meantime she has the dog and I don't get that opportunity. It's pretty lousy. I assume this is part of her way to punish me...I keep hearing that time is on my side. Why don't I feel that way?
Because you are not in control she is. It is always harder and longer on the one who is waiting. I know ...I have been there and still there. I know how you feel about the waiting, and waiting, and waiting and waiting etc. It makes the days long and the nights even longer. You have to find something that can fill in the time. It was hard for me, because my sitch was on my mind 24-7 for months. The body can't take that much stress for very long. It helped me to visit with the people here. Most of them are waiting as well. They talk about GAL if you can do that it will help pass the time. You are being proactive by giving it time and GAL.
For me it started out like the worst twisted ankle you can a imagine, as I my ankle stared to heal the pain got less and less, but I always remember that my ankle is weak. So you know it is hurt, but not as much as before.
Right now time is all you have on your side. The longer it is the more you will have to GAL and grow. Look at it this way. Where will your R/M be if you don't do anything? If you give it time it could change for the better. You are better off than if you didn't do anything.
I may not be making much since, but if you have a positive attitude and keep reading DR you will make some good steps forward. If nothing else you will be better for it.
The waiting is tough. I guess it's the fact that I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of limbo. I don't know where I stand with anything. The days become weeks and I don't know anything either way. I'm not sure what GAL is. I hear what you're saying about time though. I hope that nothing is done too quickly. When my W filed it was done a week after she left amidst a lot of emotion.
I pray for the lot of us whose spouses just got up and left, and I pray harder for the blokes like us whose W's have clammed up and aren't willing to communicate...at all.
I'm only saying this out of my own experience, but anger will come, and it will come without warning. At first I didn't feel any "anger" about my W or the sitch either, but this week I'm feeling that cauldron start to boil within. I'm scrambling like a mad man to fill up my weekend, but this week is going to be long and hard-fought lemme tell ya.
My bit of advice is to start planning an anger escape route, perhaps a quick trip somewhere alone or with friends who can be flexible with their schedules.
Time is definitely on your side, but he never agreed to be nice every single day.
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Hi COG, I definitely felt some frustration the other night when I went to go look for a screwdriver and noticed that she had taken a good amount of my tools during her last "visit." I could feel my blood start to boil so I laughed it off. Hopefully all of our situations will get better.
It has to get better, right? I mean, we're both so far down the divorce hole that we can clearly see bottom. There's only one direction we can go, and it's up!
Keep kickin' @ss, bro!
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
