"FG, I thought that was what we had done.......and well."
Imagine that!?
I agree.
"Okay, so I didn't know what to tell her, but hey, I'm not too crazy about her H (to tell you the truth.....I think she is way too good for him), but anyway, glad you knew what to tell her b/c I sure ran out of soap."
We all have our places where we "shine". Trust me.. I did not expect this with Christa's stitch. I was sure we were gonna have to go into support mode and build her up again. I would have bet on it. DB.com has "showed" me that things never go according to plan. But you have to leave the door open "somewhere". We knew "poking" him was a unsafe bet... and there was some "behind the scenes" coaching. But the attitude change is Christa is HUGE. Trust me on that. From the times way back I saw her posting.. I thought she was a bit "over the top". She is still a work in progress.. but she is a lot better now. Her H will need to step out some.. but I don't want Christa pulling him out. Right now we focus on getting her and him thru C. The Work is not done yet.. it is very likely just starting.
"Christa, I hope your MC goes along with the BD techniques/principles or I can almost predict what will happen. Sure hope you got a good one! Lots of good thoughts, hugs, and prayer comining your way."
This is a concern of mine too. I am still not 100% sure we have the right C for the job.. but.. we are gonna have to roll with it. From what I know they have agreed on the C.. so that is a step. I would suspect the first session may be.. "Hairy". I have advised Christa.. to "pull back" at the first session.. and let him lead some. Lets get his thought's here so we can help her. Trust me.. she will vent here.
For whatever reason.. Christa is in a situation where things can change. Not tomorrow.. not next week.. not next month.. but down the road. The next 2 weeks will likely be really important.
Christa.. keep us all in the loop. I suspect I will need some help.
We are all right here.
Have a great day.
And Sandi2.. glad you are here.
Now...
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
first C session is thursday at 4:30....he has agreed thus far to be there...i set up a back up appt. just in case for the 28th at the same time, in case he gets cold feet for the first appt.
FG~ I am hurt you would say I am "over the top"...this coming from my favorite drama king!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL luv ya FG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been told this a time or two....i'm a tad on the "princessessy side" so i guess you are saying...time to put my tiara up???!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!! lol :D:D:D
we talked on the phone last night...and supposed to tonight or tomorrow regarding the C and the atty's. time will tell.
will keep you all posted
((((to all of you)))) my friends,family and best support system ever!!!!!!!
luv u all christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I just started here, so I in the dark about ((FG)).
You sound strong and ready to meet what is coming. I wish I could say something inspirational to you, but I just don't seem to have the words now.
Who ever said building a or repairing a relationship was hard work. Did have to do it!! It is a lot harder than they make it out to be. It takes (PIG) Pride, Integrity and Guts and it appears that you have them all.
As you know W has agreed to come to family birthday party this weekend and is going to ride with me to the party.
My M, S, and W have been going on a Girls night out for years. Since I told them the W is coming the party they wanted to have a girls night out. They asked me about it and said this would not be a good time. Even though I am making good head way and I invited W to the party for the right reasons, still feel that she (W) should not have all of the same good times as she had before walking out. I am afraid that if she keeps getting all of the benefits she had before she walked out, after she walks out. Why should she want to come back the R/M.
Good ? VS....let me think on this...my brain is on a little overload...i will mull it over and get back with you....i am off 2 bed!!!
H called, he is trying to figure out what to do with OW....it's got my brain out of whack! I had to put on my best DBing yet and say, "I know this is a lot for you right now. I can not make these decisions for you, maybe we should discuss these things in MC"....he said ya, i think you're right. I actually think he was a little shocked!!! Then he said, a few months ago, when he started re-dating OW, he would have never thought MC/or I would have ever been thought of again, and now he has no clue how to tell her. I said "i know it must be difficult, but keeping it from her will only hurt you both in the end." he said he knew, but wasn't sure how to tell her....again i said, something to talk more about in MC
anywho....my brain is fried
will get back to you when it's not so over stimulated about your dilema!!
hugs&luv christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I totally understand. I shouldn’t have distracted you at this time. Your plate is full enough. My dilemma can wait. Take care of yourself first. We will talk again when you get some breathing room.
VS~ please don't worry about distracting me....I just mean, my mind is a little "crazy"...but then again, when isn't it???!!!
so, H called tonight....he's rethinking the MC....should have known that was coming...to good to be true. We exchanged words, things got a little heated. He asked what would happen if he chose not to go to MC, I said we would turn things back over to the atty's to handle. I felt as if our mtg. on Sat. was a negotiation....we both walked away with something we wanted, now everything is changing. The longer he has to contemplate, the more twisted things become. He even asked me to choose between my dogs and him, and which i loved more....I am not happy. He said what would you do if i sat D papers in front of you and the dogs, and made you choose....who asks questions like that....or am I out of my mind....I really do have enough love to share. And said, I agree to put the dogs outside and build a kennel...as they are currently inside dogs. He said, I have my answers, you don't love me as much as you claim to. WTF??!!! Are you serious. He said he wasn't going to waste another year of his life in MC just to find out that he doesn't want to work on the M....again WTF???? I tried, I really tried to listen and empathize and validate, and several subjects he threw at me I did just that...such as my family (disliking him, and children) but some of the things he was jabbing me with...WOW!!!! I am just still in a little shock. I feel like he is just really not wanting to put any effort what so ever in MC, so is it really worth going? We are suppose to have our first session on Thurs. and I am petrified....I really wonder, even though he says he will, is he going to show up? I guess if he doesn't I will have the answers to my questions.
So my plan, is to go...see what he will say in front of a MC, see what her feedback is...he did pick her, see if he will return, or if this is a one time thing....again I will have my answer....he's in this just to avoid paying me...
I hate having my mind toyed with..........just when I got the hard wiring re-booted....dangit!
any suggestions?????????????
(((((thanks & luv))))))))
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
STAY THE COURSE! He agreed to go, give him the chance. Don't give into his tricks. On the other hand, you can lead a horse (or jackass) to water, but you can't make him drink. But it is important that you at least lead him to the water. Don't dunk his head under the water and drown him. Just a little at a time. He may just see that he may get something out of it.
It sounds like he may be scared to admit that he still has feels for you and M. The OW may have some influence over his thinking. She is probably fighting against MC and M to keep what she has. This is just a guess.
You are right you will get some answer to questions soon. Go into MC ready to work. If you really want H back you will need to fight harder than OW. Show him that you have more to offer him that she does.
luv ya FG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!