Don't know what to do- Please help

[limbo]

I have shown him the email, I did that as soon as i got it, and for awhile it was touch and go between us. He said that it would be better for him to leave because he has brought all of this on us.
And I did get angry, and I called him a coward, because when it gets tough its easier to run.
But he is still here and saying he wants us, and is still planning on contacting the c.
I have told him how much crap I have going on in my head, and how I am trying to make some sort of sense of it all.
I know she is a troll, and I know she is just playing some sick game, but what if there is some truth to this, as I told him in all honesty your actions in the last 2 years have shown me you don't want the marriage, that maybe he just wants me to pull the trigger, because then I would take the blame for ending the marriage.
I told him that this time is going to be the hardest to come back from, because i have trusted him over and over again, and I still keep getting hit, and I just can't keep doing it.
To be honest I feel like such a loser because I am still here, I still fight, for what to keep getting hit with this.
I have so much to work through and its so hard.

As far as confirming, he owes her money, and if I confirm she goes away, if I don't she I guess wount go away, so I am going to do it, but then no more, because i know she will just keep back otherwise, if that makes any sense!

Thanks again all...you guys are life savers!