Yep, it is definitely part of the process. Bite the tongue, try not to get irked (I used to want to explode when he would arrive so late) and yes, that bike ride thru the Preserve sounds nice. I haven't been there in such a long time. I miss it so much.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Okay, so no pumpkin farm. H tm on Saturday saying that there was a huge issue at work, said "I am so sorry for this and I'll call you later". I told him he doesn't have to apologize since I know things come up with work for him all the time and said we'll talk later. Then he said "Pumpkin farm tomorrow?" and I replied if that's what he still wants to do that it sounds fun to me! Well, he never called Saturday again. Sunday he tm around 11:30 saying that he's still working on the issue at work and will call later and apologized. I didn't reply since there really wasnt a need to do so. He never called again.
This morning he tm me around 7:30 saying he'd be over a bit after 8am. He's watching D today since she's off school for COLUMBUS DAY (not Fall Break Day) lol!
I pulled my back out yesterday washing D's desk to sell it in the school's toy sale. Now I've got lots of toys to clean and a bad back. That sucks.
My sister had me carry a bunch of toys to my car yesterday for the toy sale and didn't follow me home to help unload them with me since her tv shows were on and that only made my back worse. I asked my her to also have the toys clean and ofcourse she didn't so now I get to do all of her's too and toy drop off is in 3 days! She's a piece of work that girl!
Anyway, H tm this morning around 7:30 saying he'll be over a bit after 8am. I was outside with the pooch and smoking when he pulled up. He stayed outside to smoke and asked what was wrong. I just told him about my back. I thanked him for watching her and told him to have a good day.
We've talked via tm today and he's been taking D out for bikes rides, lunch etc. So I'm glad they're having a good time together. He did tell me that his tummy is upset. Makes me wonder....his tummy hurts alot when he's over. I'm wondering if that's the stress/discomfort of being in a place that he doesn't consider part of his or what.
For things not working out, it seems that he a least sort of kept you informed, and felt badly. Having a good time with D is great, too! I don't think I'd try to specualate on the cause of the upset tummy.... too many possibilities, I think!
H told me something a week or so ago and I've been thinking about it since. He left a message for me after we had an argument. The message said "I'm sorry for saying that and I didn't mean anything at all. I'm having a bad day and arguing didn't help it. I don't want a divorce at all. I'm going to a counselor to work out my issues and I'm sorry if you don't want to wait for me to do that."
That has said so much to me. At the same time, I want him to show me...prove to me... that he doesn't want a divorce. His actions aren't fully there and I want that proof, you know?
FG that is actually a wonderful statement from your h. It's hard for us on the outside and you so close to your h to see real progress.
Remind yourself that your h is not in a normal way right now, meaning he has issues that he needs to sort out. That could take a long time.
He will need your support, patience, and love along the way. Keep showing your h that side of you.
His is proving he doesn't want a D by going to c and telling you he doesn't want one. I know you want more, but he can't give that right now, so just sit back and be patient.
You are in a really sweet spot!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Well, if he is foing to a counsellor that is proof that he is serious, I'd say. A guy isn't going to a C for the fun of it! It will take some time, but that is certainly a step in the right direction. Now your patience will truly be tested!
I worked Monday and Tuesday and have really taken a big break from the computer.
That was huge what your H said. I think they sometimes have great difficulty showing their emotions and putting them into action, possibly afraid of rejection or how we would react.
I am not referring to you with my above statement, just speaking in general terms.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
