Thanks for that DQ. I think you are right about the intimacy issue. I have many friends but not a best friend as such, I love my family but they would tell you otherwise. By that i mean , I am functional around them and I laugh etc around them but I am not close.
The only people I am vulnerable with and really drawn to are my children. They leave me with the feelings of wanting to protect and care for. There is not a single thing they could do to me that would dent that love.
I know with H you are meant to have that and more. H should of been my priority . It is funny but he is not someone who would ever talk about feelings but over the course of many years he has occasionally brought up the very intimacy feelings. He could not put words to what he felt , he said it just did not feel right.
I am the only one in my family like this. Did you ever discover why you were like you were ? Is it genetic, did something happen, were you middle child of a large family ? Was there an event that made you reject intimacy ?
