Don't know what to do- Please help

[limbo]

I have to send one more email, basically confirming its me thats been in contact, as h owed her money from last summer, and she says me knowing is payment enough, but again we shall see.

In her email she said she took the high ground because she kept away for as long as she did...what a twisted sense of high ground she has...because she would never have gotten with him in the first place if she took the high ground!

Sometimes I just wonder if I have the strength to do this yet again, sometime I am just so tired of working on my marriage..its been 2 years now, and i just don't have alot left in reserve.
I will make him stick to going to see the c, and I am going to call our retrouvaille core leads tomorrow and talk to them and just see what they think, whether we should go back to core, or do the weekend over again, I worry about what I tell my Mum as she would have to watch the kids if we do the weekend.
He asked me today what I believed, and I honestly said I just don't know anymore, its all just going around in my head, I am going back over our entire married life to see if there were signs.

here is the email she sent back

Listen Limbo, you don't know me. don't pretend to by listening to hearsay. also, i did not go after your husband or whatever you think. when he first approached me with emails and compliments, i was lead to believe he had a shitty married life. and i did stay away and didn't give it another thought because he was married, and even more so, i had met you. but he always made me think to the contrary. In fact he said he didn't think he ever loved you, he felt 'obligated' to marry. that's why i got to know him better.

i know who i am, i can sleep well at night with a clear conscience, can you? Knowing you're with a man who doesn't love you, has said nothing but how domineering you are and that you don't even let him out of the house... is that the real you? if so then it's I who feel sorry for you ... you can suppose or think what you like. that's not my problem.

he took me through hell and back during all this. convinced me he wanted me and not you... to which i believed i took the high road.

i gave him money for his florida vacation and he took it. i also gave him money last christmas.

i am no threat to you or your children.... i only wanted out. i've got what i wanted, and you have what you want , your husband. try treating him like one. I feel sorry for you that you know you're husband has cheated on you, yet you still want him. I also feel sorry that you use your children to justify your marriage.

But i too will do whatever it takes to get rid of him bothering me. I've suffered enough. i'm not a crazy kidnapper, so i can assure you your kids are 'safe'. From me anyway.


i will welcome your email on tuesday ... thanks for that....

So this is what I am trying to work through...thanks again for the support!