I still believe in miracles

[istherehope]

Hi Julia,

Thanks. You're right-there's nothing I can do about the plane times, and he knew when he offered.

Thing is he offered as "I guess you can stay here". I said "I don't want to crowd your space," so at least I didn't jump on the offer too quickly...

In terms of deep convos with H, he feels like there was no intimacy before, so I actually think he needs these. He has brought up nearly every R talk to date. I do think another will be coming soon too. It's his style. Also, Jody said he needs to feel heard. This means I get to listen to loads of junk. Still, with every conversation over the past few weeks, I've gotten to get one thing through to him.

A few weeks ago it was giving our M a chance. Really, it was me asking loads of questions and explaining why I was OK. Anger turned to acceptance. Last week we had that R talk that was so horrid I've blocked out many details. Nevertheless, the trial living situation came from me talking about him pushing me away. I am not sure what else I could get across when and if he starts an R talk, but I want it to be moving in together permanently followed by a clean slate for our marriage...

OK just in the cab on the way to the Paris airport now.in about 4 hours I'll be hopping into bed with H (too bad I'm ragged from a day of interviews!). I'll post tomorrow. Thanks for the good vibes. Am working on thinking them for myself too.

ITH