As for the things needing done on the house. You could mention that the house will appraise better if it's in tip top shape. Don't concern yourself about his need of the equity, but, be realistic about the valuation and the ability of the two of you to pay for the house and another place if he needs to move versus the state of the world economy right now. Tell him that you'd like to be part of the decisions, but, that you don't want all the responsibility on your shoulders, that things need to be done jointly. I wouldn't offer up information about where you will move etc. and if he asks, answer him with an uncertain answer. So, you might say that you were looking at renting a place, but, perhaps you could move in with a friend etc. As for the equity, is there any reason that it shouldn't be split 50/50? That would be my assumption. As for your holiday, just be straight up and tell him that you have a trip planned and if possible, you'd like to either get things done this week or wait until you get back.
I can see your concern about things, you want him to take charge on it, but, you still want to be part of the process and you have your holiday on the horizon and you'd like to not have to deal with things while you are away.
Makes for an absolutely normal DBing situation, right?
