Jak and Matilda, It looks we're going to keep the puppy. We begin Puppy Socialization classes tonight. I think the puppy, after some work will add positives to the household. My W is committed to this, so I will support it.
After some drama, her sister is going to back out and let us raise the puppy on our terms. We've started a relationship with a dog trainer, and begin classes tonight.
I'm making more of an effort to cuddle with my W, when sleeping together. I don't think we're ready for sex. It's clear that she wants me in the bedroom, and is insulted if I sleep in the guest room.
I'm hoping the puppy will create joint recreational outings for my W and I, such as walks around the neighborhood, or to a local park.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I'm glad to see you had that chat with W, at least the two of you are communication on the serious issues. Please persist with sharing a bed with W and cuddling together, she wants you there so be there for her (as well as yourself).
Jak, Things are much improved with the puppy. On Sunday, my W was in tears and ready to send the puppy back. We went to a Puppy Socialization class, picked-up some dog training tips, and have begun to have influence over his behavior. He now goes to the bathroom in the yard, barks less, and follows on a leash.
He adds life and joy to the household. It's interesting, in that my W is trying to calm me down to be less anxious with dog training with the puppy. She's trying to practice calm, positive leadership with him. We have a session with the dog trainer this weekend, and another puppy class next week.
When connection begins to improve with my W, I get anxious, as I know sex is just around the corner. I have a feeling sex is around the corner (a matter of days or weeks).
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 10/10/0804:04 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I have a feeling sex is around the corner (a matter of days or weeks).
CL
Do you have a poem to share with your wife about your feelings, (possibly fear???) Can you communicate to her that you are interested, but need her to be non-judgemental and supportive in this area no matter what the outcome?
your being anxious is understood but look at it this way it also means that you and your W are on the right track in order for this to be able to happen.
you are really coming along in terms of your R with your W.
I noticed that she is not sleeping anywhere right now this is a sign of her commitment to work on your R I feel.
I like Matilda's idea of the poem.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Jak and Matilda, The R continues to spiral upward. It seems to be a matter of creating enough positives to maintain connection. Connection is the key to creating an atmosphere for intimacy to occur. I notice that the more connected I feel, the more intimate I want to be with my W.
She seems to be struggling with some minor depression, health issue, or menopause (fatigue, lack of initiative, disrupted sleep schedule). I've decided that I'm not going to cut back on my dance activity, because she is lethargic. Often, when I make a commitment to go out for the evening, she decides to go, and has a great time.
I went by myself to a ballroom dance, which she didn't want to go to, and had a great time, as it forced me to ask ladies to dance, and expand my network. My W was later sorry that she didn't go.
We are getting more skilled at managing the puppy. The puppy has provided opportunity for being social and connecting with family (puppy classes, and visit to her sister's).
The puppy has lifted my spirits also. It provides me with companionship, beyond what my W can offer. Even taking him outside to go potty, allows me to get out of the house and enjoy the outdoors. I take him with me on errands, and spend my free time with him. I'm looking forward to taking him on walks around the neighborhood.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
