I guess. Is closure important to you? It now is for me. I still am embarrassed to say I am about to be divorced. I feel i't humiliating, but that's just me.
Yes, I remember when I was at your stage FLTC, I was gonna divorce her ass the very second I could and move on with my life. Getting "closure" was so important to me back then. Well, what I've learned is that closure takes one heck of alot more than a piece of paper saying "divorced". When you have to raise your children together, despite being apart it's not as simple as it might sound. Closure takes years, these wounds don't just heal up over time, it takes healing acts and one of them, at some point, will be getting the official big D. For me right now, that's not a priority. My W isn't coming back and nor would I want her back if it means living the way we did before. I'm just recognizing that closure is a long term process that requires patience. It just occured to me last night how lucky my STBX is to have ME as her estranged spouse. Think about it, how many other men (or women) would be OK with their unfaithful spouse spending special occassions with his family! I figure, she was a part of my parents life for over 17 years and my parents, while disapproving of what she has done, are good people, who in some way, will always consider her their DIL. I hope my STBX has some inkling of how blessed she really is here. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. It doesn't matter because my parents raised me to be forgiving and not seek vengeance on others. I'm trying!
