Yeah, my kids are old enough that I just have them talk to H and I don't get on the phone with him unless he asks to talk to me. Prevents that kind of reaction or whatever. Maybe your W is having a bad day or grumpy b/c of some other reason I bet. I have the same deal with my H, sometimes friendly sometimes rude, so why put myself through the drama?
I was out working today and went through one of the towns. There was a moonwalk outside of the community center. Had to laugh a little. Thought about you, a knife and an "accident".
Hope the birthday party went well.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Hey, thanks guys. D6, I mean D7 now, had a great time. It really turned out well. Gotta give it to the wife. She always did well in planning the B'day parties.
There is a huge courtyard just outside her apartment. Some picnic benches and BBQ pits. A sidewalk that encirlcles the area of oak trees. About half the size of a football field. Really nice. We got there at about 1:30. She had already set up the bounce and put up a volleyball net and set up the tables and such and had the kids karioke (sp?) stereo set up outside. S14 was there with the friends he invited. About 4 guys. I had to ask S14 if setting up the bounce was easy, and he said it was. I was testing. Unloaded all the girls stuff and the stuff that I brought for the party. Started helping do a few things. I told the wife that I was still needing to go to the store for ice. I asked several times if she thought she needed anything else. She kept saying no, but at the last time that I asked, she says, "No. I don't think so......you know what? Why don't you get some beer." I said okay and headed to the store. I get back and she had already started the fire. I unload the ice chest and have my separate cooler bag of some Bud Select. Her fave and mine as far as American beer. I start to cook up the sausages at around 3pm, like clock work, people start to come. A few kids from her class and the rest were from the complex. She has gotten to know several parents and thier kids. I have already met several of them throughout the past couple months already. I wondered if THEY know of OM. If she introduces him to them.
Kids had a blast, parents had fun talking. The wife and I had to interact quite a bit. She asked about me eating and I helped her get her plate of food. Both K and B ended up calling me tonight. I spoke to K at the party and returned B's call at the end, sitting outside waiting for the girls to come inside while the wife was inside cleaning up at the end.
Towards the end, wife finally asks if she could have a beer. I say of course. She asks if I can open it for her and I do. She asks me if I want a cigarette and I say sure. We sit and have a beer and a smoke and I listen to the neighbors talking to each other. They seem to know each other pretty well. The wife and I just kind of picked up where we had left off when things were good. We talked a little about some neighbors, she would give me a face for some. She was really trying to make it peaceful between us. I stayed upbeat and cool, but was not real talkative. The party didn't seem to end until about 9pm. I helped her clean up, put away the bounce and take all the crap inside.
No cuts to the bounce.
S14 had left with his friends at about 6:30 to go to another friends B'day party. While inside of the apartment, and getting ready to leave, the wife asks if I could stay with the girls while she goes to bring the boys back. I say ok. I get D7 into the shower and sit and watch tv with D11 for a while. The wife had mentioned that she was still hungry earlier. I asked her if she wanted me to restart a fire. She thought about it and said that she could go for a couple hotdogs. I say ok, but we got to cleaning mode and I never did.
After D7 takes her shower, I get D11 in there too. She gets out and the wife is back with the boys. I start to say goodbye and the wife asks me if I want to eat something before I go. She wants to heat up a frozen lasagne. I don't really answer her, but D11 and I start playing around as usual. The wife ends up coming to sit with the girls and I. Watch a little tv, I go outside for something. S14 is upset about something and decides to go roller blading. He looked like he wanted to cry. I ask the boys what happened and they just said that he was upset about somethingt. That he was saying that he is lonely. The wife had gone back to the courtyard to look for a volleyball that was missing. I had already told the girls goodbye again, then I met the wife outside. I asked about S14 and she said that she didn't know what was up. She gets worried and asks me if I could stay with the girls while she goes to look for him. Its now about 10:15. I stay and watch the girls play barbies in their room. We talk some. I don't hear from the wife for awhile and go outside to check.
I see S14 with his buds at the couryard and go look for the wife. She is walking back from the dumpster. "Did he tell you I was taking the trash?" "No, he didn't. Whats going on?"
He is just being emotional. We talk about him being confused. Now he is wanted to have an R with a girl. We talk outside for a while. Lots of stuff about S14. His honors classes. Stuff. I tell her that he needs to talk to some one. "We are. We all are."
We go back inside. She serves D11 and D7. She asks me if I want some. I see that it is small and tell her to leave it for the boys. She asks if I want a sandwich. I say no, but thanks. I start to tell the girls for a fourth time that I'm leaving. We have a chuckle about it. I tell them and the wife goodbye.
We had a lot of interactions today. A lot of conversation about just stuff.
She cares about me. I can tell.
Back to being dark. This was a day for D7. The kids had a great time. The time spent with the wife was good. Time to step back.
MIL showed up and pretty much kept to herself. We told each other hi and then goodbye later. I think she might have been uncomfortable with me being there. Like she didn't know what to say to me. I know she feels bad for me, but its her daughter.
Oh yeah. The girls had brought two of the puppies to the apartment. As I was leaving finally, the wife calls me. Are you going to take the puppies?
"Oh yeah. The puppies. I guess." "Well, you can come by tomorrow and pick them up then if you want to." "Ok. That sounds good." "Just come by tomorrow after work."
On the way home, I kept thinking about her.
I think our interactions were like two people that have moved on, but still very comfortable with each other.
You could just feel the caring between us. It was a little hard. When I left, it was just a real quick goodbye between us. Almost like an afterthought. My fault, I think, but probably for the better. So many things I felt like asking her. Just wasn't the right time for any kind of talk.
I don't picture any kind of reconciliation with her anytime soon. Not at all. We are going to have to go through separate lives for a while. Maybe a good long while. I don't see a divorce looming. We are going to be separated for quite a while. She is going to have to experience life her way, and so am I. We have a bond. She knows it and I know it. We just don't talk about it anymore. When we did, the last time, she saw it as me just trying to keep her home. Talking about the "thing" we have with each other. I know that she wouldn't say anything about it right now, because she would think that I would just get the wrong idea. Like I would want it now.
I just know that she keeps a "possible" sometime out in the future. I guess I do too, now.
I'm rambling again.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
On the way to work, I kept thinking about yesterday. Made me realize how much I really do miss her. Us.
Started to tear up. Had to roll the windows down and blast my music.
I shouldn't have let her talk to me so much. Actually, it wasn't so much talking. It was more the interactions between us. Maybe I made myself too available. I'm still supposed to stop by and pick the puppies when I head home.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
On the way to work, I kept thinking about yesterday. Made me realize how much I really do miss her. Us.
Started to tear up. Had to roll the windows down and blast my music.
I shouldn't have let her talk to me so much. Actually, it wasn't so much talking. It was more the interactions between us. Maybe I made myself too available. I'm still supposed to stop by and pick the puppies when I head home.
Hey bud. This is going to happen - I cannot see how it can't. This is maybe why so many folks are saying to go as dark as possible. I realize yesterday would have been tough to do, but when you can that probably protects you from feeling the way you did this morning.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and have a great rest of the day.
Glad the b'day went well.
Take care.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I felt better by the time I got to work. The darkness is coming. Need to go pick up the puppies and just leave. Hard when I just want to hang out with my kids, too.
How did your day end up? Forgot to wish you a happy Canadian Thanksgiving.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
