FIB- I did want to comment on this post concerning the religious event. You did well here.
Go back and reread the N.U.T.S. book again, Chapter 1. Think hard about what is a 'term' and what is a 'condition'.
Your terms as a man involve your kids, your family and your religious values. A condition is attending a certain dinner at a certain time of year at your sister's house.
You did not violate your terms by eating at home and then taking the kids to see the family. That was a good choice given the situation W created. You also did not violate your terms by asking to set up a schedule for the kids.
You felt hurt but you did well. You silenced the little boy within you and did what you had to do to demonstrate to your kids the true meaning of the religious event - demonstrating it is not just a dinner at sister's house.
Ditto for the religious service the next day. The little boy was hurt - not the real man who went even though he did not want to and had to endure the inter-faith thing without anger.
Quote:
I felt contolled. I felt I sold myself out. I feel tremendous guilt. I am not sure if my decisions were correct..made out of stupid residual hope..out of fear of hurting my children
That little boy is a pain is he not? You did well. The man did well.
